So whatever age she was in the purple eyeshadow, shellacked lips and glitter clip —I’d guess early teens from the baby fat she still had—mommy and daddy already let her get a nose job.

That must be from her Toddlers and Tiaras years. Daddy’s age sweet spot.

Concerned Princess Leia and Repulsed Batgirl are all of us.

Trump is kind of a mash-up of the two: Mango Musshitler

I think the Trumps all have a genetic condition where gas is a byproduct of every idiotic thought they produce and has to be released, kind of like Daniel Radcliffe in that farting corpse movie, only from their mouths.

After all is said and done and her old husband is finally in jail or dead, she no doubt has plans to ride out, unscathed, on another rich man’s dick.

Or not-so-benevolent. Just an isotope of the old-fashioned kinda guy who reminisces about a time when a fella could expect a l’il something bc he paid for dinner like a gentleman, or might expect a smile in return for a cat call because it was a compliment, or hit on a gal in the workplace because working broads still…

I’ve found that people who declare parenthood has made them more holy were assholes before and are even bigger assholes now.

That all depends on their pigmentation.

I’ve had a theory for awhile now that her sudden love of sporting hats and sunglasses in public, along with wearing her hair like a Handmaid’s Tale bonnet, is all so she can claim she was the flotus who wasn’t there, when we finally get around to the Nuremberg Charlottesville trials.

#Rashomon. a/k/a as “many sides” and gaslighting. Fuck him.

Oh, so she was a punk just like she’s a moderating influence in the White House

I’m convinced that the only way to keep this all from ending in a giant mushroom cloud is to tell Orange McFuckface that Obama didn’t do all of the things he did. He has no knowledge of history and no ideology, so fooling him should be a piece of cake. Write Draw one concept per day month of Obama vetoing the ACA,…

I’m not entirely convinced that even tapes of him committing murder would be enough to prevent his reelection “victory” in the United States of Gilead. Bill Cosby is black and Harvey Weinstein is, nominally, a Democrat, so.

Some kind of treatment that will make him instantly shit his pants at the sight of bathrobes, showers and potted plants, Clockwork Orange-style.

I feel like this will be one of those shows that will live on in the pantheon currently occupied by 80's aerobics clips and Show Girls. We are destined to mourn its too-short passing and only appreciate it once it’s gone.

She probably would bankrupt the penniless commentariat of Jezebel if she could, Peter Thiel-style, but it won’t change one thing: the truth. Sing it from the mountaintops, sisters!

I didn’t read it as bashing the kid at all. Most people know by now Barron was the pseudonym Trump employed while placing scoops about himself on Page 6. It’s just Barron’s rotten luck his father named him after his made up persona and Melania agreed to it because there’s no way she didn’t know.

I guess since the Pence fake walk out plotline didn’t get the reaction they hoped, they threw in a bitch fight scene to make up for it.

Death match, please. Odds on Ivana.