Gigi Hadid is beautiful but she looks like a bottle of Fanta in this photo. WAY TOO ORANGE.

That’s just, like, your opinion, man

Well then you can excuse me while I wash my car, water my lawn, play a round of golf on a course with green grass, and eat a handful of almonds.

ALSO : the thing about “lettuce being basically nutritionally void” is really only true of boring, flavorless iceberg lettuce. Ubiquitous due to its cheapness, it’s essentially just water held together by a tiny bit of fiber.

Preach. I lost 40 lbs this past year eating a lot of nutrient dense/healthy fat heavy salads.

I also feel like people get a little overexcited about dressing being so awful for you. I’m eating fucking salad, most of which has very little calories, so that tablespoon of olive oil is not going to kill me. It’s not like, salad is good for you, so it must be calorie and fat free. If it’s my lunch, it better have…

No debate here. Mmmmmm, sweet delicious dangerously-purple dirt.

I don’t care what the haters say, salad makes me so happy! See? Nothing makes me smile more than lettuce on a plate or in a bowl.

Beets are to be loved, not merely tolerated. Hmph.

Only Taylor Swift wants fake sympathy for being a fake adulterer.

“classrooms designed by age and color”

‘If any parent is unhappy with our decision to make Camelot a happy positive place’

I used to show horses and often brought my corgi dog to the show grounds. Usually he was in stall with a bunch of the other barn dogs. But one time I was there to spectate/cheer on a barn mate so I brought him ringside. This woman was a new rider and very timid, so our trainer wanted us to show support,…

She’s tired just watching

I hope no one is expecting one of them to donate a kidney. Even the shoe thing is more than that they had to do.

I mean, I don’t think they’re the ones making that comparison. The man in need of a kidney is the one who decided he’d part with his sneakers to get said kidney. So K&K to replace those shoes. I realize the expected “awesome thing” for them to do would be to donate one of their kidneys, but like... Let's be real. If…

Hmm, maybe I should publish some of my pre-Zoloft journals for their impressive comedic value. Presumably also hilarious: that time I saved my fingernail clippings in a tin so my family wouldn’t die.

Um I guess I see the humor in that now

More Kinja craziness. Kinja gonna kinj, I guess.

is this a thing now where the whole Tweet Beat pubs on the frontpage instead of just the teaser? Because damn that’s long. And it’s happened two days in a row, if it’s not supposed to happen.