I feel about this the same way I did about that wall street leonardo di caprio movie Scorcese directed. Another one?? Because there are not enough movies about rich idiots?? You’re Martin Scorcese, you can make a movie about anything you fucking want, and THIS is your chosen topic??? Enough already. Enough.

It’s the eyes — Jackie’s were very wide set. My mom took a drawing class from someone who had known her, and he said it was difficult to look her in the eyes when talking because they were so far apart. Also, it’s one of the reasons that so many pictures of her were taken at an angle and not straight on.

Also Portman is zzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.

HEY FRIEND I ALSO NOMINATED YOU FOR LASER HAIR REMOVAL! YOU’RE WELCOME!

Using the holidays for non-urgent or elective surgeries and procedures has been pretty common for years. I know a lot of people who have waited to have their tonsils or wisdom teeth removed towards the end of December because they can use school or work holidays to cover some of the time they will need to take off.

I’m thinking about trying fillers. I’m in my late 30s and my jawline is starting to sag. The hard part is convincing my husband.

I just so happened to be at the PS’s office today. Unashamedly team botox and team filler (as in all things, moderation). He was jamming (not the needles though, he has the gentle touch of a harpist playing with gilded strings made of angel cat whiskers*). He had at least 6 patients an hour. When I made the…

Most of my doctor’s numbers I find written in sharpie on the walls of bathroom stalls in bars.

I get Botox. So, fucking, what. My eye area looks better, I feel better and I can apply eyeshadow for the first time in years. My eyelids haven’t matched the rest of my face in years. Try an 80 year old woman with a 30 year old face. By getting Botox, I elevate my brows and soften the hoods of my eyelids so makeup is…

Genius. Tahitian Vanilla and the essence of a very rare orchid that only grows in June on a deserted island off the coast of Zanzibar.

That’ll be $85 please.

I own a candle company (with a brick & mortar) that could fall into the “premium” range however this has made me underline and bold my “create luxury line for 2016” item on my To Do List.

Shout out to all my fellow Jezzies who read “inexpensive Yankee candles” and thought about how you only get Yankee candles when they're on the clearance endcap at TJ Maxx.

Oh honey, you’re the one who’s not good at science. When I miscarried at 6 weeks, all it was was a heavy period. So yes, all I used was tampons and pads. Would I have to bury my maxi pads?

Breaking news from Ohio: A new law will require that any woman who has an abortion must hold a full age appropriate birthday party for the fetus every year until said fetus is 18 years old. Furthermore, said woman must include fetus in all holiday card photos and will take to Disney world at least twice in said…

As someone suggested in the last Jez story on this topic, maybe it’s time to start sending these legislators used pads and tampons, because embryonic tissue.

pretty sure justin theroux is climbing the ranks of my male celebrity crushes. (especially because i JUST found out that he played the deranged DJ in zoolander.)

Deacon is a pretty cool character overall, without getting spoilery, I’ll just say that his story is intriguing.

Haven’t spent much time with Deacon, but oddly I stumbled upon this article on Facebook that’s convincing me I should. http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/dea…

Full dialogue interface

Okay so there’s a reason Preston is at the bottom and the Minutemen just seem fucking like fetch quests of saving people?