What we’ve got instead, in our used diaper of a universe—in which the Pelicans spent a month pretending to consider trading Anthony Davis in order to troll the Lakers, while meanwhile keeping their sights set on a future of pretending Jaylen Brown is so much better a prize than what was being offered that this…

What you don’t understand and completely downplay in paragraph form is that it also serve as an investment in your team, as artmodell insurance.

Thanks for setting me straight, people-who-probably-wear-complicated-eyewear-and-swear-they’ve-ALWAYS-loved-The Hold-Steady.

Probably camped out in a favela, hand cranking electricity so he can shitpost later this evening when another athlete is hassled.

Relevant:

They make objectively pretty good music

A business should be graded on its product just like a person should be valued as a customer ...nothing more and nothing less.

"Bills Water® is a refreshing throwback to a better time in the AFC, when once-mighty rustbelt vanguards could fall backwards into consecutive missed shots at glory. Each bottle contains the 100% pure, triple-filtered tears of Scott Norwood and Marv Levy, with a portion of the sales going to fight early-onset…

just because Drake has manners, dresses well

"Writing Your Name On Paper 5041" is a graduate level course at FSU, so I don't imagine it's come up yet.

Maybe I'm biased about being from around the St. Louis area, but I'm not denying the existence of this...I just think this type of attitude is everywhere in baseball, not just with the Cardinals

Pictured: A scene from the David Fincher-directed domestic violence PSA The Goddamn Fucking Celtics Are Fucking Losing Again

If you go to a game at the Big House now, there are barely any. Tickets have gotten way too expensive to take the family, so kids aren't being swayed by the experience any more.

It's a dumb rule, but still the correct call:

Matthew Stafford is profoundly overrated, (as was his collegiate class, and UGA in general.) It doesn't matter what rote statistics you have, how many desperation heaves he overthrows to a triple-covered Megatron, or the public record of how underwhelming that media-hyped UGA core was: his fans are convinced he was…

Think this, but with laptops:

Embarrassing. Their mother raised them better than this.

Do you know why there's no money in the CFL? Because it's shitty NFL cosplay with sub-highschool level talent. A bunch of weekend warriors playing a pickup game in front of 300 people is not a compelling product, especially when the beer league lackeys, with all their goofy video game rules, can't even break into…

We will never, ever know what actually triggered the test. That's how it's supposed to be under the NFL's arcane and secretive drug testing procedures, in which the league is not allowed to announce what a player tested positive for or even the circumstances surrounding it, and players are allowed to offer up any…

See, there was this HBO show called The Wire. People seemed to like it quite a bit (especially white people), and would enthusiastically recommend it to all their friends and coworkers. In hindsight, I see where Drew's reference might have been confusing if you'd never had a job or friend.