SealSurprise

6/14/14

Agree, I just commented a similar thing, family-type restaurants can be disgusting:

6/14/14

This.

6/14/14

Why should we cater to people who choose to be massive douchelords?

6/14/14

I never wear makeup, mostly because I always wind up looking like a kid who got into mommy's bathroom and had a color party. It doesn't even matter if someone else applies it! I have my wedding photos as proof. Maybe some faces just aren't improved by it?

6/14/14

Don't want to feed the trolls, so I'm replying here. I think it's fucking fantastic how much anti-breast feeders will tie themselves into logical knots complaining about sanitation, like somehow an HIV positive mother will leak copious amounts of breast milk all over and then... what? You come over, take off your…

6/14/14

They need to get a body paint artist before they go in.

6/13/14

I'm surprised that you forgot to mention this famous documentary:

6/13/14

And just generally great at opera.

6/13/14

But they're such great barbers!

6/13/14

Listen, if that caller had SMILED instead of cried, she would have looked prettier. And then someone would have married her. And then she wouldn't get raped! IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW.

6/13/14

Do you make $98 dollars an hour from your laptop?

6/13/14

Yes, I'm afraid to incur the wrath of a serious croissanteur but I make good use of my snack pockets. Morning flight snuggie usually has croissants in the vented pocket so they don't get soggy, afternoon flight snuggie has a beer and sandwich on the other side, evening flight snuggie snacks start to get weird due to…

6/11/14

6/9/14

#NotAllDolphins

6/9/14

I feel like Hank Hill would characterize the experience somewhat differently.

6/9/14

... and here I just read your sentence as "fat-fighting caffeine pastries" which just added a whole new level.

6/8/14

Yes, thank you, the answer is in your last sentence. We write different stories for different audiences. Lots of people on Jezebel don't read Gawker and vice versa. (I think we even have data that shows how true that statement is). If we operated under that model of not writing about what another Gawker Media site…

6/6/14

Guys. For $2 I will kill you off on my Tumblr devoted to Jezebel commenter fanfic. Be the first one to die in the next edition of my hit series "Lesbian Shitasses 3: Problematic Lentils and Diva Cups."