Have her teeth professionally cleaned? Saves a ton on vet bills later.

I just turn it down and put on Kate Bush. Completely different feel.

+ 0.08

Sidebar: Meryl Streep wears the shit out of every pair of glasses ever

That's not Planned Parenthood. That's a Crisis Pregnancy Center, aka Lie Factory and Baby-Selling Hub. They were working you over in case your test was positive so they could guilt you into giving birth and then surrendering the infant so the could make large cash with a private adoption.

I'm willing to bet the idea of "If I can't have him, nobody will" was in his head.

The rat is probably as happy as a slinky on an escalator.

I do the trick with the fork (above), but I do it with my toothbrush so that I have a sturdy travel-cap.

When has Bey been discrete about wearing weaves? She posted a poem on Instagram about her "virgin Remy" hair getting snatched by a fan (her words, by the way).

Nope.

Clearly we've never hung out.

What about female ejaculate?

I'm trying to eat low carb. According to this, I can still suck (*swallow) 1,818 dicks a day and not exceed my 20g of carbs. Good to know.

Agreed - in the linked article, he stated:

Wow, everyone in the story is in the wrong. They were uppity and awful about the gift and then he called their marriage a sham.

This one:

As an internet commenter, I am unfamiliar with these concepts of being self-absorbed or drawing attention to oneself.

I'll take whatever physical ailments arise if I can keep the psychological benefits of having a dog! I haven't had a panic attack, not even a moment of panic, since I got my pup. It's only been two months but that's longer than I've gone in ten years! He's magic.