Exactly - I would prefer a machine in which you can put your bacon and set what time you want it to be made and ready for you. Some sort of cooling element that is in place so the bacon remains fresh, and some flipping mechanism into the cooking part when it's time to be cooked. Because as you say, what's the point of…

Thank you! This would just piss me off.

So how many gigahonkies go into a terahipster, though? I need to know for science.

8.8 gigahonkies?! That's INSANE!!! Someone get George Clinton on the phone, STAT.

Sugar lip balm is $22.50, but it's sooooo gooooood.

Twee + hipster = Twipster?

What's the gigahonkie to dicktillion conversion?

I think Taylor and Karlie have established a new upper limit for whiteness... their whole adventure has gotta be at least 8.8 gigahonkies.

Stuff I've read around the webs says she did mean Benedict? But then, I don't know. Anyways. I ship them. It needs to happen. They can take over for Brangelina for most beautiful couple.

I, on a whim, mixed 1/2 olive oil and 1/2 cocnut oil and let it solidify. Now I dab just a few fingertips worth into the tips of my hair then brush my hair. 1000x healthier and conditioned. Can also put in a ton before you shower and shampoo, but if your ends look dry its a great way to condition them. I had my hair…

Exactly. Ratty. When mine gets like that it ends up back in a bob.

His hair looks like shit. That's right, I said it. It looks flat and ratty and gross. It doesnt even look like he brushed it. If a female celebrity had that exact same hair, everyone would be bitching about how it looks like shit. This is the typical lazy dude hairstyle for long hair. He does nothing too it, just a…

Tie both of yours together with: Benedict tearing up during Lupita's acceptance speech. Night made.

Things that were worth watching:

I told my friend the other day he's the perfect combination of Napoleon Dynamite and Mr. Darcy. Goof and gentleman. The world needs more men like Benedict.

He's so dreamy.

A right-wing toolbag missing the point? Shocking...

Soooo, Dr. Frankenstein, how do you like your monster?

Hey Howard, there's a quaint, new Italian restaurant in North Dakota that is just the largest and most beautiful in town. You may have heard of it? Olive Garden?

I saw this documentary recently and it was one of the best docs I've ever seen. And it was dumb of Sea World not to participate in it. Because as much as I think these parks should not exist — and that killer whales in particular have no business being placed in bathtubs — Sea World could have easily turned this into…