Maybe they are learning? Or maybe they find Muslims scarier than black folk. It is a toss-up.

"Good on 2 Million Bikers for meeting bare minimum standards of human decency, I guess."

I'm a strong badass outdoorsy lass but my definition of strength includes accurate risk assessment. Awareness of risk and fear of harm is not the result of insular homogenous thought. It is the result of living in a real world with real consequences.

Someone should hire you to do something. A theme park seemed ridiculous until you started describing it.

Vet records? I could prove my cat is 14 because the camera I used to document the day she came home with me would put the date in red numbers right on the photo. (I hated that camera) Heck I still think I have the negatives.

This reminds me of my mom's mispent youth when she was dating two fellas. One was an prosecutor... and the other fella was the middle son of a mob family that the prosecutor was currently prosecuting. Unexpected mob dates make for the best stories

Sending your mom flowers elevates this from mere shitshow to true class act.

I think you misunderstand the basic attraction of Chipotle. Step one: smile nicely at the people who are about to make your burrito. Step two: attempt to charm, cajole, plead and beg the afformentioned employees into being as generous as possible. I don't want a sprinkle of cheese I want a fistful! Step three: pay the…

Yes! I should have added teeth to the list of lips and tongue. I love that you tested it. The simplest formulation of this rule is really if the air is restricted (consonant) or or unrestricted (vowel). K, G, and H are all actually still formed by your tongue... but it is the root of the tongue working against the…

I am not sure if I miss that kind of paper or not. I remember being a first grader with that wide ruled paper and feeling jealous of how the paper of my older sisters college ruled notepad was so much whiter. But my penmanship was way better as a first grader... so... yeah. I'm split.

Don't know if this helps but it's the best explanation I ever heard. Consonants are sounds where your lips close or your tounge touches the tip of your mouth. Vowels are sounds that you make your mouth and tongue don't touch and don't block any air. Y is a consonant in yoyo because your tounge squished close to the…

These two are the Transformers-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in our household. Like Voldemort, but with weird racial hangups.

Thank you for my new favorite subreddit.

Battleship is one of my truly guilty pleasures. I say this as a person who has no guilt about loving Killer Klowns from Outer Space and Iron Sky. I love moon nazi movies (no really... seriously... netflix Iron Sky right the fuck now...now) without shame. But loving Battleship? So guilty.

That being said, Rihanna…

Their haka is what convinced this American to start watching rugby. I'm not kidding on the slightest.

Your comment made me go wake up my cat for a hug. She will certainly retaliate by biting my elbows at 4am but the hug was worth it.

Long pork. Google at your own risk.

The 90s were no protection against teachers with rulers. It started for me at the end of sixth grade when I was daily signaled out to have the straps of my tank tops to ensure the straps were greater than two inches wide. This near daily policing of my body didn't stop until I graduated. I even had a vice principal…

You have no idea. As a young woman she once sneakily pushed/coasted her dead lemon of a car into a used sales lot. When the salesman asked her if her trade-in car was running alright, she replied "Of course. Do you think I pushed it here?" She left with a new car. (To be technical, she had not pushed the car in the…

I do not want to imagine $50 dollars worth of eggs. Yikes! This is also why my favorite buffet is a $10 pan-asian-ish buffet with all you can eat fresh sushi. It is so easy to feel like I nailed my $10 goal when I am downing multiple dragon and rainbow rolls.