I mean, he is all about read-and-react spread-offense.

“Wow! Look at Peterson’s punishing style! He’s still got it! What a great switch that turned out to be!”

— Excerpted from Montgomery County Child Protective Services follow-up report, October 2019

2.

1.

I suppose it beats getting verbally punched in the dick, over and over, by the Basketball God.

On the plus side, Peter Lim does have a can’t-miss idea for how to make some extra money in theatrical ventures.

Good Lord, that is some terrible pass protection.

“Me too.”

-Guy who spent 14 hours sculpting spiked mini-skulls this offseason

“Yes, but there’s still so much extra weight you could lose, there. I mean, this over here in the front... it’s, like, all useless fat.”

[Sighs]
[Clicks tongue]
[Puts away male cranial MRI]

-Phil Esperanto, M.D., personal physician to Patrick McEnroe

I find it helps if you think of it as a "salary cap."

SOULCYCLE INSTRUCTOR: And one last time, turn it UP

You have to believe that the organization knows best— if there’s one thing Arsenal knows, it’s smart, disciplined defense.

You do understand that while Gary Carter was to his detractors something of an irritating self-promoter (YMMV), Kirby Puckett was a womanizer and serial sexual harasser, yes?

If you have a budding 8-to-10-y/o Wednesday/Daria (like mine) who’s already burned through A Series of Unfortunate Events, and you're looking for an okay family watch, the Addams Family movie hits the spot nicely.

That’s not technically true about OBP.

A wildly inappropriate Celubrayshon appeared!

“We’ve been through some trying times. You’ve been my confidante, my playmate, and my biggest challenge. But most simply put... you make me want to be a better person.”

<b>BOLIVIAN NATIONAL TEAM MANAGER:</B> [Takes shot at Mourinho]

Dummy.