“We also see dead people.”

-Each of 70,828 paying MetLife attendees

Not Right Guard?

All this Henry Selickness, and nobody mentions Coraline? For shame.

All this Henry Selickness, and nobody mentions Coraline? For shame.

You have the best, absolutely perfect jokes, jokes that you wouldn’t believe.

+1

xxx

AY, TONYA

That sheer control, top-to-bottom, hitting him perfectly thigh-high on that barely-visible run... it’s No Nonsense, really, what he does with those leggs.
















Spanx.






.

Somehow prompted by the “Nickel Pickle” business, I fell into a Scott Elder hole. Every line reading is uncannily like a Rick and Morty ad parody.

I mistakenly remembered Tony Phillips as having been involved in some off-field molestation scandal, went down a Google hole. In doing so, I discovered that he was the late Tony Phillips, and that it had somehow completely escaped my ken. We are even older than we think.

Mackey Sasser was my favorite Met of the time for precisely this reason. 9-year-old me was convinced he could be a perennial All-Star if he could just throw the damn ball back to the mound like a normal person.

I think he should probably see a neurologist and get examined first.

The violent collision appeared to cause Williams’s body to lock up, and Williams remained on the ground for an extended period of time...

You know how I know you’re gay?











BECAUSE I’M YOU

Errant long snap?

QB: MAY, 19, 68... MAY... 19... 68...

Fan: COMMUNIST MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

QB: KILL, KILL... [Looks to sidelines, wild-eyed; makes exaggerated shrug]

Offensive Coordinator: [Signals “2" and “0"]

QB: [Nods, returns to snap count] BLUE DOG 2020, BLUE DOOOOG 2020!

CENTER: [Snaps ball]

QB: [Drops back three steps]

[Fakes left]

[Hand…

I could rise higher than a Cheeto
For you are the wind beneath my wind

I mean, a SavetoFavorites, to be sure

Miami deserves better than this... That Miami would be that city makes it even more galling. It’s Miami. It’s arguably the most fun city in the entire country. How did it end up being the new Cleveland for sports teams? It ain’t right.

“Pretty cool. Me, I’m more of a Hit Man.”

-Addison Russell

Is this a case of Brady lacking any sense of self-awareness

“In the interest of keeping our language anti-inflammatory, we call that ‘maintaining brain-muscle pliability.’”

-Alex Guerrero