empaths unite! We are definitely out there!

Tiptoe through the two lips.

And Pound Purries!! I still have mine!

If Satan thinks he's an ass, it must be pretty bad.

She gets off work in in about an hour. Dinner is almost ready and a bath will be drawn.

He threw it in the garbage? He threw it in the garbage?HE THREW IT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING GARBAGE?!? Fuck that sack of shit. I hope your friend ran away screaming into the arms of the nearest decently polite person.

My boyfriend is a libertarian who thinks Ayn Rand had some nifty ideas. I am a far left progressive liberal who hates Ayn Rand with a deep, deep passion. He likes to send me articles about Rand's outspoken support of abortion rights. I like to apply her philosophies to all areas of his life. For example, he rescued a…

I have significant food issues as well, mostly related to texture. It is not a problem I would wish on anyone, especially since most people simply attribute it to some sort of immaturity or unwillingness to "just try things".

Doesn't eat any vegetables, I get. But some people have toddler eating habits because they have SERIOUS issues with texture. As someone who is like this and who has taken years trying to learn to like SOME normal things, grudgingly, because the second they touch my tongue my stomach still turns, I assure you it is not…

Fact: My current boyfriend, also white, on our first date...I saw a man walk by with dreadlocks and this exchange occurred.

Me: [unable to hide overexaggerated grimace]
Him: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, it's just a white guy with dreadlocks walked by.
Him: What's wrong with that?
Me: Well, besides that hairstyle looking invariably…

Ugh, as an actual historian, like, with degrees and all that jazz, armchair historians are the most annoying people on earth. Oh, please tell me more about the names and important dates about dead white dudes. So stimulating.

I have a beard (except I shaved it off for Movember, so currently I have an enormous moustache and beard stubble (it is coming back.)) I've worn it since I left the navy more than a decade ago.

This is just a place for OKCupid horror stories, right? I'm in!

I think he's in for a surprise, because a really sizable portion of women in my general age group had a crush on the Robin Hood who was literally and figuratively a fox.

Poor taste in cologne and/or deodorant.

People who snidely correct your use of the English language, doubly so when they're actually wrong. Anyone who mocks your childhood crushes.

Mine are so boring. Single dads. Guys who don't like my cat and can't be quiet about it. Guys who take religion more seriously than attending a holiday celebration or two. Guys who aren't into giving oral sex.

Kids. If I find out you have them, I am no longer interested.

jackrabbit sex. You know that sex where it's like they're masturbating but with your vagina.