Also, remembering that our marriage ≠ anyone else's marriage. It's ours and we're going to do things the way it makes sense to us and that's exactly OK.

I once upended a Monopoly board like I was Teresa Guidice hurling a table and screamed, "NO FAIR YOU'RE A REAL ESTATE BROKER" at a boyfriend before storming out of the room to sulk. I was probably 25 or so? Yeah. It/I was adorable.

This should be taught in every pre-marital class ever. Amen.

Ten years together, 8 years married. When we first moved in together (me, him and his three kids under the age of 12 from his first marriage), I told him that I'd cook dinner every night, but I don't do dishes. He said fine, he'd do dishes. The first night, he was doing them ALL WRONG. I couldn't tell you now what…

I'm of the opinion that some people just aren't for marriage. They don't want it. They're conditioned to believe they want it and then waste tons of time, effort, and energy only to realize that they're profoundly unhappy.

And if not separate bathrooms, at least a double vanity.

I think that one of the most important factors in a happy marriage is being able to come to terms with the fact that your happy marriage is not always going to be happy. Shit happens, life is tough, living with someone forever is not an easy thing to do. To attempt to do it harmoniously forever is impossible. Keep…

My mom says it not expecting your spouse to provide everything you need out of human relationships - for example, bank on your girlfriends for emotional support, because your husband might not always be your best bet. Your interests aren't always going to align - again, that's why your friends are important.

Your mom is totally right about separate bathrooms, it's really a key factor in my marriage's success. I would also say mutually finding farts hilarious helps as well.

Its cliche, but communication is key.

Really, just to be humble. Not a pushover, humble.

Farting contests. Lots of sex. Constant, constant, constant talking. Shared passions. Shared goals. Connect-the-dots, with freckles. Tag.

I just tried the new Starbucks Ebola Fappuccino and, as a straight male, I have to say it was better than the salted caramel one.

*Some* of our elders. There's more than a few of them out there who should only be taken as cautionary examples.

Or a special place beside the Deep Ones, before the madness sets in. Again.

Is this campaign geared towards ending prostitution or sex trafficking? It's discouraging to see how many organizations that are supposedly aimed at ending sex trafficking end up conflating the two. And if we've learned anything from the Scandinavian Model it's that it makes the lives of sex workers harder, not safer.

Well, if it's good enough for Satan!

I'm glad you love your white dress!

Get white Hefty bag, belt it with a white nylon dog lead, and slip on some white Converse Chuck Taylors.