Poor straight people. They can't put wedding announcements in the paper. They can't wear wedding rings. They can't stroke pregnant bellies or go on daytime television and discuss their swinger lifestyles in freaking Technicolor. Poor dears.

Admittedly, if I had to get out my own IUD, I'd have to get pretty drunk first. Off topic but funny: My bf calls it and IED. It entertains me to no end, so I've given up correcting him.

No! They said its in the mail but it's been two weeks and I think the mailman stole it because I'm pretty sure he's straight.

Oh, did you get your plush, over-stuffed, rainbow-colored unicorn? Exclusive for the Super Extra Double-Plus GAY members only. It comes stuffed with chocolate-flavored condoms and pamphlets on turning young Americans.

I really just want to start kicking up a shitstorm every time I see a cishet couple expressing affection in public.

Help, help, they're being repressed. Now everyone sees the (GHEEEEEY) violence inherent in the (non-existent) system(ic oppression of straight people for being straight).

Crossfire is back on the air?

True Story: I had these big, black spiders that would congregate at my back door and try to rush in when I opened it to let my dog out. It was creepy, like they were lying in wait. Once, a super giant one made it in and when I turned, in a panic, to grab a newspaper to kill it with, I lost it in my kitchen. It was…

When I was in uni, our school allowed a really bad mouse infestation to continue for months, (without financial compensation, or help, despite complaints) so I bought mouse traps, and caught a mouse within 8 minutes, and hung it on the door to their office (oh so politely, with a note about who did it) asking them to…

Pythons are pretty cuddly. My roommate freshman year had a foot and half long ball python, we managed to freak out every other girl on the floor with it at one time or another. This would have barely phased me, I'd just tie him up in a sheet and start trying to figure out who was missing him.

I will take this snake over a crafty, sneaky spider, any and all days.

I think the problem that everyone commenting and being like "BUT WAT ABOUT TEH INNOCENT MENZ" is missing is that while this tactic is decidedly less than ideal (as is all vigilante justice), the reason it exists is that victimized Columbia students feel like they have literally no other recourse than to publicize the…

I'm so goddamned sick of these stupid dress codes. When I was in high school the only rule was pretty much that you couldn't show up with a t-shirt on that had the word "fuck" on it.

God, colleges are hothouses for these kinds of abuses against women. My heart goes out to them and my impulse is to support some sort of underground justice administering, when the system has clearly failed.

Why jump on homeschoolers? My mother (a freaking saint) taught me and my two siblings, and she never completed college. I went to any Ivy and to University of Chicago for my MA. My brother is a very successful graduate of a top college and my sister as well. It's wrong to assume that 1) all homeschoolers are the…

People who are popular enough to get invited as underclassmen. I guess. I wouldn't know.

My mom was the youth group coordinator at our church when I was a teenager. Some of the kids in the group sang at the mass and one of them, who had a different sense of style, wore long black gloves. There was a big meeting held with the parish council and my mom and they said that they wanted my mom to do something…