I'm a sexworker, so I've heard so many that I'm probably disqualified from playing.

No matter - here's one of my favorites. Someone phones me to inquire about a 'date'. He tells me that he is 'super famous', so I'd have to be 'super discreet' about our meeting. Ok, sure. He then phones me back about six more times,…

Got enough quarters?

I make a motion to start Dolly Parton facts in the style of Chuck Norris facts. GO!

FACT: Flowers don't bend to face the sunlight. They bend toward whatever direction Dolly Parton is.

FACT: Love of books is called bibliophilia. Love of cats is called ailurophilia. Love of Dolly Parton is called logic.

FACT: Dolly Parton…

Would.

While this is clearly upsetting to some people here, I think it's important to see things like this.

This is why when I say I want don't want kids because I don't like kids and someone responds "but it would be different if they were YOURS!!!" I refuse to believe them.

I had a roommate my senior year in college (someone I'd chosen to live with, no less—I had no idea how crazy she was before moving in with her) whose entire goal in life was to busier and more put upon than anyone else in the world. This was terribly difficult for her living with me, because I was overloading on…

I can give the most absurd lie I ever told:

She finally decided to take care of that slattern, Jolene.

To James Franco I simply say: Not all followers.

Also very true. I've been self-policing the way I respond to compliments ever since I saw this video and recognized the behavior. We're so conditioned to be submissive that we deflect compliments. "I woke up like this." flies in the face of all of that.

I really like that interpretation—I feel like the lyric is also tongue-in-cheek in a really nice way because it's clear she is wearing makeup, had her hair styled, etc. but she is poking a bit of fun at the whole endeavor of getting dolled up and how women are supposed to put all this effort into being a certain type…

I feel the lyrics aren't supposed to be that literal. It's saying that what makes you attractive, sexual, powerful, etc. is your nature and who you are, you woke up that way, the rest is window dressing. Women are used to hearing people say things like "how did you get so smart/confident/sexy?" but men are rarely…

Maybe we should work on making printers that actually work before we start making printers that make actual things. No I am not grumpy today why do you ask?!

This tour has everything: capes, wigs, Illuminati symbolism, several men dressed like they are in the hit musical Cats toting Katy Perry around the stage while she makes faces...

I know this is a really obscure pet peeve, but it annoys me that so many sculptors/painters cannot get horse feet correct.

No. Sounds like something someone who isn't flawless and wakes up looking a mess would say.

Yas! Get it girls! Gabi and Nadia are everything though.

My vagina made $9500 working from home this week! My vagina's last paycheck was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour's sister's vagina has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week! I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.

This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,…