this is fucking TRUE. drug dealers are always the nicest customers, and it amuses the hell out of me.

there totally is. red40 dye makes my boyfriend swell or get hives. but not once, NOT ONCE, has he ever let the phrase "i'm allergic to red" come out of his mouth.

oh. oh wow. as a barista, i've heard cappuccino mangled in many ways...

A DOCTOR?!?

wow.

i used to be en pointe too, and i would MUCH rather do that again than wear those shoes... cosigned.

heh. i used to work there

on behalf of all dancers everywhere, you rock. ❤️

i love you Pinkham. it's CLEARLY the best Jesus!!!

ha, love it!

A: you have a point, but

i *personally* think pepperoni is vile, but i know i'm weird. so i'll excuse you for your incorrect assumptions about the excellence of pizza hamburger! 😏

i am in no way lactose intolerant, and YOU CAN PRY MY MOO JUICE OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

JESUS ASSFUCKING CHRIST, THIS EXISTS?!?

NAILED IT

cosigned. artichoke hearts need to be on this list!

hahaha YES, this just made my day!

right! there shouldn't BE a standard number, it's clearly going to be different for everyone.

yeah i'm gonna have to call bullshit on this one. i've had plenty of experience with both the pleasant lies relationships, and the honest ones.

everything about this is shameful, everything. my heart goes out to Muslim Americans everywhere.