Or tattooed girls, or girls who have ever been with black men.

P.S: candidate should be ok with possibly being murdered and buried under the floorboards.

so where does his muse sleep? oh right, she just recharges in a corner chair.

I feel like she's a cross between the Princeton Mom and Dolores Umbridge.

Look for my new ebook "Withered Old Crone From the Reagan Years Made Me a Lesbian" on Amazon in a couple hours.

I'd be much happier if they were lovers but I recognize that is unlikely

Side-eyeing you SO HARD right now for the insinuation that women can only be appreciated/immortalized when they are young.

If you are trying to pretend that you're still the young buck when you're my age, it just doesn't work.

Nice Simpsons reference, from way back in mah day...

You were robbed, Cat Peach. ROBBED.

Taylor, you are one amazing betch.

I am troubled that I don't find this the grossest story. What's wrong with me? Am I secretly super mega gross and nothing else comes close? I need counseling!

What's with TMZ and ellipses? I can't even read their site because the punctuation is so unnatural.

Jeremy Renner was married? And had a kid? I'd always heard rumors that he bats for the other team, as they say...

That's udder nonsense.

I love Redbook and all those other midwestern mom magazines. I often cook like a 70s housewife— crockpot, etc.— so the recipes are good for that. Either that or they are hilarious hate-reading, like cake made with jello or something.

I always enjoyed the "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" section in Parents magazine, because sometimes you got salacious details about how their sex life just wasn't the same since baby came along.

Nice Kate Gosselin haircut, you twat.

BUT... It's a fair criticism that (1) FB selects photos for you that may be weird or inappropriate (I got a smiling pic with my now-ex) and (2) customization is after-the-fact and less obvious, so this D'oh still rests squarely on FB's forehead, not yours.

How bout you trying not having an attitude and being rude about it.