In the very, very early days of Match.com, I was living in LA and one of the people who emailed/contacted me from my profile was the guy who played Mike Teevee in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie (the awesome Gene Wilder one). He was nice but we never went on an actual date.

ALSO HIS NAME IS HILARIO. Oh god I can't get enough of this.

I think the saddest part is how the "church" brainwashed their kids against Nicole. That's just downright evil.

Gardenia! Yes! Thank you!

Gardenia is my all time most favorite song.

You clearly need to see Mandy Moore in Saved!, one of the greatest movies of all time.

Yep. Most of them also have multiple children too. I'm like, your best bet is someone with a job, no hygiene issues and not a registered sex offender. An investment banker who's a dead ringer for Lance Gross not looking for you.

Oooh, the second prize types with their lists of requirements? It's hilar when they can't ever figure out why they're still single. And nobody ever tells them because entertainment. You don't ever stop a snowflake train wreck. Your friends will never forgive you.

She's mixing up "gets to" and "hates themselves enough to settle for" again.

Stassa I can't tell you how much I appreciate you posting dirt bag before noon <3 <3 <3 <3

I started the booty song movement

Oh god! That's so creepy. "Cotton Sunset" was a child star, daughter of hippies, who now does porn because she's hit the skids.

What do you think of Bailey Cosnina? Sounds exotic?

Tiger Rosebriar

I'm Whisper Lilac which sounds way more like a Glade Plug-in scent than a porn star.

This is awesome,

If we're going by 1sts, I'm Rooney Brookline. I think it has a very film noir, stylized 40's type feel

Cotton Sunset

Oh I LOVE THIS. !!