I DID THE HACK and from it I learned that money can buy happiness

Seriously—laughing at the idea that Jezebel writers are OK to speak on this topic, but Mark Ruffalo or Kerry Washington or John Cusack isn't.

Since when does being famous mean you give up freedom of speech?

P.S. DISAGREEING WITH HOW ISRAEL IS HANDLING IT'S "SITUATION" DOES NOT MAKE YOU A JEW HATER.

I think she's mellowed over the years. She used to be pretty well-known as a frighteningly awful woman.

Just reading the phrase "spanx jeans" makes me feel constrained. I imagine after wearing them for a full day though it makes that moment when you get home, take off your bra, and put on pajama pants the best damn moment ever.

"I am at Elderly person."

Finally: a reason to hate Jenny McCarthy.

Ivy must be very Blue...

The most

And I can already smell the barrage of think pieces from pop culture critics trying to dissect a marriage they were never a part of.

The servers and I got along well and I tipped each of them well. I am never a dick, I am just enthusiastic.

Since you make so much fucking money, you should be treating us all to lunch at Olive Garden. Put up or shut up.

We're really going to praise a beauty contestant in a bikini for not hiding her insulin pump? This feels extremely neoliberal and quasi-feminist at best. I mean, good for her for not hiding it, I guess? But it's a freaking beauty pageant. She is being judged on stage in a bikini. We want this to be the inspiration for…

God my heart breaks for this man. I can't with the news cycle within the last 24- hours. I can't. Let's just call it a day humanity. We keep trying, but I just don't think it's working. Apocalypse now please and thank you.

I despise this argument against having kids. No doubt there's bad in this world. But it's also the place where all the beautiful stuff happens.