Wow, what happened to Mike Myers’ face.

I’m really glad his interest was peeked.

Just you.

This is the absolute perfect truck for most people who buy trucks. Therefore Ford will sell about a dozen of them and they’ll be discontinued in three years. 

I guess now would be an opportune time to point out that I was contractually obligated to do so. Trust and believe I would’ve never given this the time of day otherwise. But I appreciate you taking the time to give me my flowers. How kind of you. 

Nah, I’ve deduced this from personal observation and deep love for sarcasm.

If an index finger won’t punch a hole in the frame it’s not ready for Tracy.

Steve Harvey is a racist misogynist and religious nutbag who really shouldn’t be on TV. 

Why on Earth would you put your daughter’s name on the damn thing?!

I don’t like scaring people, but if spreading this myth gets rid of stick figure family decals... I’m just saying we need to look at the pros as well. 

Seeing the giant blasted in faces of old white men on sacred Native American land is probably a more accurate history lesson than some schools in Texas, even if the viewer doesn’t understand the metaphor.

Not a slide show?

LMAO. Reminds me of when Dave Letterman did a Top Ten of names for the Rolling Stones tour and one was “The Rolling Stones Live Plus Keith Richards.”

How will we distinguish yours from all the other Trump statues?

Safety blankets are for pussys bro. My flat bill and Oakleys will protect me from metal shards good enough.

Listen, Britain fired the first missile with Cumberbatch playing Americans, if Stone is our mutually assured accent destruction I am fine with that.

gets handed the keys to a vehicle as they walk out the door

Welders can make a ton of money; some of the welders in my area charge up to $200 / hour...learn how to do it in high school, get certified when you turn 18, and you’d be rolling in money by your mid-20's.

“...with my trailer...” Steer into the skid. You’ve done it before..Let us know how it goes.

Eric? You mean State Informant #1? The rats will abandon ship quicker than you can imagine. First one off gets the best deal.