- Bill Belichick, on New York Jets defensive schemes

You act like this isn’t the foundation of the Republican Party. They haven’t caught on yet and they probably never will.

Actually, I think it’s any city intersection with a Tim Horton’s, a beer store, and a Hudson’s Bay Company.

A Canadian triangle is actually a sexual euphemism. Its a threesome that involves Poutine, flannel, and a whole lotta Gordon Lightfoot music.

Call me a giant asshole for being a Bulls fan, but this was our best game all season.

He’ll be fine in prison. Abuse in prison doesn’t happen as often as we’re told, let alone prison rape, nor is either situation funny to joke about.

I’m sure he’ll try, but he did explicitly ask for that when he changed his name.

Yup. Let this be a learning lesson to fellow conservative women. Ms Lahren did everything right to be a cool girl, she was one of the ‘good ones.’ She stepped out of a line and all her bros went, “I don’t know her.”

THESE ARE THE THIEVES THAT OUR GREAT PRESIDENT TRUMP, YES HE IS YOUR PRESIDENT TO, IS TALKING ABOUT. THEY NEED TO BE SENT TO A PRISON THAT MEXICO PAYS FOR. BAN ALL ORTEGA FOODS UNTIL HE RETURNS OUR GREAT AMERICAN ATHELETES MEMORYBILLIA.

All of this allegedly puts a former Mexican tabloid executive in the locker rooms of the last three Super Bowls, surreptitiously nabbing incredibly valuable sports memorabilia right from under the noses of at least dozens of people, only to get caught a couple years later. This is the greatest story.

On top of that just being an insane quote to stand behind, let’s all take a moment to appreciate that, as evidenced by his classmates’ entries, a quote wasn’t even required.

These motherfuckers are all a bunch of traitors.

“Sachs points to the profound racial and ethnic segregation of our society”

Great! You hear that, America? Bears. Now they’re putting the entire country at risk. Someone call Betsy DeVos; we need her Certified Ursine Neutralization Team out here, ASAP.

I’d have installed bollards. If someone dies, they die. Fuck ‘em.

And now I’m giggling helplessly as I reconcile what you likely meant by that last comment... Yeah. Look, give me a hit off that monkey paw I could use a few ironic twists of fate so long as they get theirs too.

Hahaha! That get’s funnier every time I read it.

ANGELA: “And THEN this motherfucker Trump said...”

At least we know that Donald Trump hates women more than he loves powerful Germans.