Cut them some slack. People are just animals who invented pants. Don’t expect much, and you won’t be disappointed.

Today’s Headline:

This would still sell on AutoTrader for $35k.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

“Man who has never done his homework discovers he doesn’t know any answers on the test”

I wouldn’t have used “rectified” in my letter in this situation.

Bill Paxton was one of those actors who took thinly written, move-along-the-plot characters and delivered fully rendered people.

When W. is the voice of reason, things are quite fucked up.

March 15

It’s worth noting that the reason Reagan didn’t attend three decades ago was because he’d just been SHOT in an assassination attempt a few weeks before. Even so, he still called in to make a few jokes over the phone.

Someone else wrote it

If the world were just, he wouldn’t be attending because he won’t still be president on April 29.

That ain’t real.

sorry prachi! i was trying to be parodic, but that might not be where the country is right now - lunacy is the new norm.

Only if that Jewel is a lump of filthy coal.

I actually have a headphone hole in the top of my Swiss Army backpack.

This toad is a warty faced lizard person in cheap Chinese made clothing spewing hateful views because his twisted shitcase of a mother didn’t give him enough self-coping skills and someone told him that his pecker is too small. He probably perpetually has the runs, vomit breath, extreme self-infecting VD and all of…

Okay, but we can all agree that those nasty little cheese pizzas restaurants offer kids are hell’s manhole covers, right?

It’s sort of like saying Cat Dennings’ boobs are too big for a string bikini, you’ll just never know for sure until you actually try it.