He must have a lot of appearances where he doesn’t face many batters.

Who says baseball players aren’t really athletes? Seriously, this guy would play a lot better if he lost 120 lbs. This is just ridiculous.

I know, cities are so crowded that no one lives there anymore. ;)

Dang it!

Yeah, what you said!

I am! I am cross-shopping all the cars, all the time.

Sick burn, bro!

It’s the right color for an ancient POS.

Yeah, I think you just nailed it. Thank you.

I don’t know you. I’m sure you are awesome, but your post comes off as petulant and dickly. There’s a lot of truth in it, but...petulant and dickly.

Invokes dark overlord Cthulhu, smacks his pun a** down and tells him that he’d better back to ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn or shi*’s gonna get extremely real in a hurry.

Agreed. Best thread in a LONG time.

Uses toilet without spinning around 360 degrees while simultaneously projectile vomiting and covering walls with vile cocktail of urine, bile, and feces.

Although, now that I think of it, I know what fits in that extra sixteenth of an inch you leave when you parallel park K5 before going man camping with your bros.

Actually, you are offering. Do your wife and her Chinese parents know?

I too am here to congratulate you on winning the internet today, Slim. I am in awe.

Ah, now that I read a little more closely it’s a distant descendant of the Badger.

So, what plane did they knock off for that?

I think I just threw up a lot. In the toilet.

Blame him all you want. He’s not calling the shots.