You tell us, Mr. Hume, what’s more fun: a reliable metalwagon that gets you to work every day so that you can continue your gainful employment and timely municipal tax payments, or turning donuts on your neighbor Gary’s lawn while blasting Winds of Change by the Scorpions?

If Shaq really wants to save $ with this method, let it get to zero then put in the twenty bucks of gas. By keeping the tank at most 1/4 full, he’s transporting less weight than a 3/4 full tank. The engine doesn’t have to work as hard [i.e., is more efficient] and he saves money.

So they need a report to analyze the analysis of the report?

Armstrong remains an unrepentant, life-ruining asshole. He deserved much worse.

you could make your own coffee at home and save a buncha money just sayin

Black people created every form of American music. 

My favorite example of this is from the Shining, when Jack is outside the ballroom but you can still here the muffled music coming through. It adds perfectly to the confusion as you’re trying to figure out what, if anything, is real about the scene.

You are so dumb. I love it.

I’ve got fond memories of going to Whalers games in high school. We’d buy the nose-bleediest seats in that shithole arena, knowing full well we’d be able to slowly sneak down to good seats by the middle of the second period. We were too young to buy beer but not too young to laugh as some drunk schmuck would throw…

A group of year 10 olds should decide what is and isn’t a catch.

because you’re moms a whore

There’s a pub in Somerville called Sligo’s, which we would go to in college 20 years ago. A real dive and you better not look at anyone the wrong way, but never overpriced and never too picky about checking ID. The only time they wouldn’t serve us was when a murder suspect was on the loose and they were “pretty sure”…

Funny you mention Deadwood. I was in the middle of season 1 when I started watching Godless instead, and I haven’t wanted to go back to Deadwood since. I assume (hope?) Deadwood gets better, but I’ve had all the western stereotypes I can handle from that show.

Great, another NBA story about travelling.

I was thinking of this joke just last week. It’s still funny.

No one will read this, but I watched this last night and am now Mad Online, so:

This was excellent.

Sweet Jesus, Tim. This was just perfect.

you are one sperm-obsessed weirdo

Can we also get Patrick Roy choking to death on a sandwich as he reads the news?