Except you can’t build a seawall to protect Miami.

Yes. This case is one of the best examples out there of a victim doing everything right in the aftermath of an assault and still getting totally chewed up by the system. She told a friend. She went to the hospital. She got an exam done. The exam documented evidence, including bruising around her throat (Bryant choked…

Watching Anne Hathaway fail to illicit even a small spark during a Between Two Ferns episode demonstrates just what a chore she is... I’m a Joan Didion reader but this sounds horrible.

I do the exact opposite; I stand up as soon as the plane takes off

Scariest movie I’ve seen in a long time. And it’s only 60 seconds long.

Oh no! Not sham endorsements!

You sweet summer child. 

Can we root for them to be so bad that the 1972 Dolphins retroactively have their perfect season stripped so we never have to hear about it again?

All together, Cheers fans:

I’m gonna get exposed to a flyover tonight and be asked to stand for the National Anthem even though I’m just there to watch a football game.

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

The soccer comments are dickish because Billy has been told the same complaints about his writing over and over and over for years - enough with the ridiculous paragraph-long run-on sentences, the use of fourteen paragraphs to make an incredibly banal point that could have been made in two sentences, the constant…

FIFY

This is Chris Thompson suddenly noticing the low fuel light on his DeadLettersmobile, and pulling into the nearest station.

oh yeah dude. huge oversight on my part not including a lengthy aside disavowing ariana grande in this post. I'll get right on that 

including a disturbing, months-long courtship of one of his own players

1) The kid who recently got picked up by ICE was an American citizen. His mother even brought his birth certificate and they insisted it was fake. He spent a month sleeping on a floor in an overcrowded cell with 60 men. The kid lost 20 pounds because these concentration camps aren’t providing basic food or medical…

A note to all of the “I don’t tip because it’s a broken system, and it won’t get fixed until we stop playing along” types:

at which the skaters were each awarded £100 for winning the “Worst Slam” category.

"This is worse than glee."