Hey Albert have you considered just being a whiny internet nerd instead of a (two-time certified) sex-haver? Because then this stuff wouldn’t bother you, apparently.

Well now I done have seen a lot of good things in this life the Good Lord has blessed us with. Why there’s been men way up to the moon, and the polio vaccine, there’s been the wireless and radios and teevees and now computers that slide right into your pocket, Amen!

Do you have any videos of you masturbating to videos of you driving that I could masturbate to? If not, could you make some?

idiot. +1

Yeah well Arby’s isn’t required by law to tell you they don’t serve actual food, so...

Well certainly I am perfect, but alas, I can’t say the same about everyone else in my state. What I can say is that 1) we are not giant bags of suck, and b) around here we don’t have delicate, easily bruised, baby-like, wafer-thin skin.

Wow, someone racist and homophobic from Texas! Who’d a thunk it?

♫ I’ve been sent

Indeed. Over my head.

Yeah but... [remembers Shiner is brewed in Texas] oh.

Umm yeah genius they actually do. Like, aaaaaall the time. You must be another fine product of the Texas “educational” system.

Well that’s partially true, but also, Texas sucks.

Hey are you from Texas? If so, shut your piehole about your shitty-ass state.

Look guy, I don’t take travel advice from a guy who kisses apes.

Before anyone breaks out the old “if only they had guns” trope, let me remind you: Texas is a stupidly shaped cesspool that should be punted into the sun.

Not unusual, but cruel.

+1

[that’ll do, kinja]

This comment still cracks me up. Read it in her voice.

This still cracks me up.