In related news, Ryan Fitzpatrick attempted a pass, with similar results.

+1

Don’t worry, he’s behind parallel bars now.

Look, Goodell knows from personal experience what the PC police doesn’t want to admit: pot is a gateway drug. First it’s weed, then crack, then meth, then heroin, then the next thing you know Peter King is eating out your asshole while humming Battle Hymn of The Republic.

Dump in some extra chlorine mom, that pool is all full of ursine now.

While searching for a way to make this Dan Synder’s fault, I realized something: this is all Dan Synder’s fault.

I recommend you stop eating lead paint.

And Horton - poor Horton! His head full of grief

Was Tulowitski better? Sure.Was Jeter worse? Sure. Was Cashman an asshole? Sure. Are the Yankees, as a franchise in general, deserving of our disdain? Sure. Are we merely fleshballs, inhabiting a decaying vessel, hurlting though the void in a meaningless cycle of mass and heat and pressure and the despair of a haunted…

I am all full of shame

I thought he was being sarcastic, so I responded accordingly.

I think they do age out. My 8 year old definitely wants the trophy, whatever it’s for. My 11 year old, not so much.

Howzabout kick you in the nads when no one is looking?

And here’s a flip side: I was on many, many terrible teams when I was a kid, and received many many terrible participation trophies (and one car-shaped pencil sharpener!). Everyone - good athletes, bad athletes, good teams, bad teams - knew these things were a joke. They were shiny and kinda cool but kinda…

Jokes aside, using “retard” as a slur is just a shitty, shitty thing to do. Don’t do it.

1. In a pissing contest, everybody’s feet get wet.

Yep. Still laughing.

I know, I know. It’s just next time I’d appreciate some kind of warning.