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Reporter: Did you see Welker eat drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker smoke drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker inject drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Did you see Welker snort drugs?
Brady: Nope.
Reporter: Is Dan Shaughnessy an asshole?
Brady: Weeeeelll...

That sounds ok. My local redemption center has a special, or "unlocked gate" in the local parlance, where one can get nearly unlimited last sips out of the bottoms of various cans of various beers after they have been redeemed for one shiny nickel apiece. I'm not sure what percentage of the beer cans have a soggy…

My local diner has a standing special for PBR. You get a chilled pint glass. The chilled pint glass is full of ice cold PBR. The chilled pint glass full of ice-cold PBR costs exactly one (1) U.S. dollar.

I thought they didn't wear makeup?

Thanks, Roger Goodell, NFL, NFLPA et al, for making sure no one is required to answer the important questions. Did Welker take a performance enhancing amphetamine? Did Welker take Molly? Did Welker take marijuana? Did Welker know that the melting point of structural steel is over 2750°F?

This is one of the most tortured puns I have ever seen. And I love it. +1

You misspelled "I'm insufferable," Greg.

Speaking of suicide, Doug, I have a hefty length of rope, a sturdy oak tree, and a skittish horse right here in my backpack if you, you know, need it for anything.

The nothing burger is nothing without the nothingmayo.

"I can assure you this type of behavior will not be condoned nor repeated. I realize now how hurtful my actions were, and understand the anger and sadness they have generated. I accept full responsibility; but please know the lesson has been learned. From this day forward, I will be taking the stairs."

Here you go SOAPS DO NOT DRINK

[merp]

Typical weasel Goodell bullshit- announces new penalties for battering after cake season.

Pretty gross, but what *really* makes me want to hurl is how the Use It In A Sentence examples provide zero context for the definition. Be Gross Intelligently™.

"Because I don't really give a shit what your names are, so..."

Lawyer Confirms Balcony Fall; Hospital Spokesman Notes Balcony In "Fair Condition"

+1

/dying

Grunting Works: playing tennis; lifting sandbags; removing stuck jar lids