Not everyone lurks on Reddit all day. Some of us lurk on Jezebel all day.

After my husband put his 2 weeks in as GM of a family restaurant (so you know this is gonna be good), they were on a 30 minute wait on a Friday night. Two women came in with 5 kids, so a 7 top. They're quoted 40 minutes, and after 10, start bitching to the host stand about how terrible they are at doing their jobs,…

I needed a second job while saving up for college and got a waitressing job at a big chain in the area. I had never done it before and it was probably a terrible idea with my low self esteem and absolute clutziness. But I tried.

Oooh. May I?

THESE ARE ALL WONDERFUL!

Big Mama doesn't seem all that bad to me, and the reaction when there could be money in it is just priceless. Over the top.

I was in the kitchen with my grandpa and all the food was on the tables and counter. Anyway, he put his penis in the mash potatoes and wiggled it all around.

i immediately thought "big mama" was a compliment too. i really want to know if he was trying to holla at her. it would make her reaction even more ridiculous than it is

She was seeing dollar signs as soon as she read it. Fast food chain does something even mildly insulting that will get the attention of the local news? CHA-CHING! Of course she didn't eat it, she was too busy grabbing for the phone book to find a lawyer.

I wish someone would pay me 5 grand for something so stupid.

This is Utah. People are already ignoring a ton of evil shit trust me.

Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax

They announce that Stephen Colbert is leaving Comedy Central to host the Late Show, effectively ending his conservative-anti-bear persona, and then this happens. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

People are allowed to be idiots who put up with crap. But when you do that, you just have to accept that the rest of us aren't going to feel sorry for you when things don't work out.

I assume this song was on repeat while she designed the clothing line.

I googled it too, hehe. It's pretty much the perfect word for our feelings about the country of French Montana, isn't it?

A comment thread with your two usernames. Jacksons & Bowie. I think you do have a French Montana right here.

Trying to figure out if a pie horse is a pie made of horse, or a horse made of pie. I prefer the latter, because I then envision a giant, berry-filled horse pie that is so delicious it distracts Trojan soldiers while the Greek soldiers enter the city and win the war.

I shall henceforth only ever be sitting on my pie horse. Thanks, Mark!

We don't do it for the twenties, but we will take them if people want to give us a bunch of twenties.