And what about the woman sitting next to her? She's never even met Sam. Maybe Sam's Girl should move. Nobody needs someone else's pee on their textbooks.

But how would you know that she'd be pissing all over herself if it wasn't for Sam if she didn't tell you? These are the kind of warnings people need when they're sitting next to someone. Maybe she should have some cards made, too.

Why can't we just have some new episodes of So Notorious? That show was awesome.

Yeah, those "faces of molly" look a little familiar somehow.

They call me The Midnight Barber.

I didn't "diss" anyone. Apologies if my comment somehow hurt a nation's fee-fees.

It's not like she shot six tubes of tub sealant into her ass...

Don't be a dick. She's whatever she says she is. Perhaps her defense will be that she is a horse.

Thanks, Mark.

Where did this happen?

Hopefully, Wendy will pay that child support.

Tell me, what race are strippers? (Hint: all of 'em.)

If only you were serious...

What race are strippers, my cloth-eared (and possibly racist) friend?

I'd say "stripper pop" covers it, so to speak, pretty well.

Is the joke that some people think that doofus is a doctor?

"Katy Perry dressed up as a clown and made children cry" is the most succinct review of Teenage Dream I've read. Thanks, Callie!

What Bizarro-world did I wake up to? Someone is stalking Goopy?

No.

Seriously. Why can't she simply crawl away and starve to death in peace? I haven't heard a song from her since she was thirteen, and I don't remember what that song was.