Fox News are also the people who are so well-versed in scripture that they are pissed off that Noah isn't a "happier" movie.

Those guys drink too much, and I do not want them taking care of my child.

I noticed that, too. Yet again, the largest ethnic group in America goes unnoticed, as "white" and "American" are the default settings.

You and your cloth (bunny) ears will probably survive.

Ha! Now, I'll also forever think of her that way, too.

I gotta know who Dr. SunkenTits is.

My vape pen and I, I love story.

Finally! A toothless bill everyone can get behind.

Once he finds out you're willing to fart while in the tub, you're going to have to charge him extra.

I just don't want to find myself hoeing on a boat— that sounds like some Waterworld shit.

Dammit, Dominos! I tell you swimsuit season is just around the corner and you pull this shit?!?

I think you're right— this guy sounds like a monster. If he's not already beating her and sabotaging her birth control, he will be within the year.

I can almost recall a wee lad that Linda Carter gave all sorts of feelings to, so it's worth noting that not all of her fans are gay.

Yeah, nothing's more real than bitching about "niggas always gotta show they teeth" and refusing to smile in photos and then going on to be America's favorite movie-dad.

Everyone deserves a second chance. And a third chance. And, maybe, a fourth chance.

Further, you found it so awful, you needed to respond to the post four times.

I really hope that she's actually able to get the help she needs and to surround herself with people who care about her health.

You've become a terrific curator of great stories, UT. Keep up the great work!

I applaud this child's moxie and would like to offer her a multi-billion dollar company to run. Once she has that under her belt, Hillary will have no chance against her in 2016.

A simple numbering system would be a good solution.