Who'd want to be one?

If you have nothing better to do than harass the whole fucking world over your kid's goofy backpack, I'd say you're the one who shouldn't have kids.

Is one of his "terrible decisions" being "friends" with someone who puts him on blast on the internet?

Before everyone was a potentially-bullied snowflake, schools sent kids home for anything that was "disruptive." Their parents were generally more pissed off at having to leave work to pick up their kids than anything else. Now, everyone related to this nine-year-old has nothing better to do than assure him that he…

I think I'd buy my kid another fucking backpack before I pulled him out of school.

Wendy Williams is a woman?!?

Thanks. Now I can add "alien clown stripper twins" to things I am afraid of.

I'm going to steal your shit now. Don't worry, it's for a good cause.

No matter how you dress, no matter how you behave, someone will perceive you as wrong... if they're a fucking lazy blogger.

Did Lindy cough into a bag and mail it to you?

I hope someone takes $2,000 worth of your stuff.

You're a nasty motherfucker. Why did you post this here?

Seriously, how can we in the US somehow think we're superior to someone who excises a baby's genitals with a sharpened can lid when I might have been able to blow my load in eight seconds instead of fourteen?

Most people look pretty banged up immediately after getting their noses fixed. It doesn't mean they're sad or lonely. It means they're high, have (re)broken noses, and will, hopefully, feel more positive about their appearance in a couple of weeks.

Script idea: Can we make the crosshairs look like the result of ringworm or some other parasitic infection?

I'm paying $10 a month for half a dozen HBO channels and HBOGo right now.

Thanks so much! I think of my commenting as often being a geeky slice of snark with a side of social justice and general outrage. When reheating, season with foul language.

If they want to grant this monster "freedom to work" it should be to shovel shit or pound fucking sand.

Tomorrow, he'll sing the praises of Linkin Park.

Who has time for history, or even awesome movies with David Bowie, when you could be finding new ways to make your... eyes... look bigger?