It's probably closer to 1,400 people slavering for the job in any number of spots in line with you.

Very true.

Oh, I have that stuff. Don't worry about that.

I know who you are, and I'm going to kill you with the same screwdriver I open your window with.

I often watch a posted skit or two of SNL every week. This week I watched, like, six or seven great bits. Say what you will about Lena Dunham, haters, but she clearly brings a hell of a lot to the table.

If Gina Torres was actually some kind of hideous world-enslaving demon-god-demon, I would still totally love her.

I'd also like to clarify what I said earlier, not for you, but for anyone who might get the wrong idea.

Damn, that's cool! Thanks for sharing it!

Well. Now, I'm bawling. Thanks :)

James Doohan was a great Canadian hero who lost a finger in the D-Day invasion. He was also a big, affable man who loved having a thick fan-girl girl sit on his lap while hanging out with the hoi polloi and enjoying a cold beverage or three at a con. They don't make 'em like him anymore. If there's a heaven, he's…

I swear there's a grape soda/black people/Family Guy joke in this somewhere.

Wikipedia was invented for people like me to make people like you look more silly.

You're one step away from arguing for personhood for human remains.

I'd stick around to explain how what you said could have been phrased better, but, instead, I'll be in my bunk.

Dear Scobles,

I must confess I believe I am. It's a small goddamn world.

You know, Paultoes, your body wasn't a wonderland, either. Sure, you looked good naked, but that poncho you wore all the time was dumb and useless. Further, your hairy toes kinda grossed me out. Also, I should have been so lucky as to have been with someone who could fart silently. Between those explosions under…

And I'll pray for you, sanctimonious dickbag, in the hope that you figure out how to use a semicolon and stop using that played-out phrase.

Does the chef at Goldblum's eject digestive acid on your food for you or are you supposed to do that yourself?

Settle down, people! All the man is saying is that most professional basketball players are black and that most black people commit "streetcrime."