I miss “evil doers” now. “alternative facts” are way worse

It’s insane that a travel restriction was announced on live television, before advising airlines, airports, or other relevant TSA authorities — but that’s why our President has the reputation he earned. This isn’t like pretending to run a hotel, or selling steaks at The Sharper Image. When you screw this up, you don’t…

I want Obama back

Yeah, I never thought I’d wax nostalgic about Dubya.

Asshole in chief makes Dubya look like Winston goddamn Churchill

This is what I don’t understand, regardless about your feelings towards Democrats or Republicans, Trump is objectively bad at his job. Like terrible. 

If your greatest fear in life is running out of toilet paper... then things are pretty good.

Because he’s simply not good at his job. That’s not a political perspective, either. If you know anything about interorganizational communication, watching this administration is like the Highlights Goofus cartoon version. “Goofus never informs his colleagues when he’s about to send out a statement that may impact…

The reality is that America wasn’t prepared, because we chose not to be. In 2018, Trump’s administration cut the pandemic response team, and sent Rear Admiral Ziemer packing. He wasn’t replaced.

Nasty. Nasty, nasty question. You’re a nasty person asking nasty questions. Remember when I fixed the economy and made Apple move iPhone manufacturing to America? I’ve also put Mike Pence in charge of keeping us all safe. Overall I’m doing fantastic with macarenavirus. Kristen Lee, she’s just not nice.

Fiat Chrysler said today it’s pausing production for the next two weeks at the majority of its plants in Europe in order to keep its staff safe and to “give people a break from these rolling shitboxes”.

I mean...not really? The design languages of the two highly-dissimilar vehicles aren’t cohesive, but honestly, the craftsmanship and attention to detail is amazing. Especially for a 61-year-old, self-taught amature coachbuilder. Take into consideration that this was the guy’s first attempt; dude’s got chops!

“documentary”

Maybe you should try a place where they aren’t just nuking your frozen entrees?

“Dear Salty: Someone overheard my obnoxious bitching in a public place where I had no expectation of privacy, and now I’m being a being petulant child about it.”

What a bad, dumb take, particularly if you saw the rest of the episode. It was one of the funniest in years.

You know you done fucked up when your own mother is happy you weren't home for Thanksgiving.

You can hear the embarrassment in his voice when he says, "Oh God, it's Mom." That's how you know this is real.

mrs woodhouse 4 prez

LITERAL BEST MOM