I feel like you should have your adult card (seeing rated R movies, buying alcohol, voting, that sort of thing) revoked when you say things like, "My daddy knows some pretty important people."

"Mr. Rosa is one of the most professional teachers I know," one of the signers to the petition wrote. "I would hate for a great teacher to lose a job based on a mistake that may have been an accident."

As a heterosexual, married male, I must offer two responses to this article:

First, the positive: Thank you for the laugh. This was one of the most insightful, witty, cutting articles I've read in a long time—and it had me howling, until...

Second, the negative: I have realized I know far too many men—and far too many…

Dealbreaker. Shut it down.

I wanted to say something longer or more emphatic. When the in-laws (or, God forbid, my parents) say something about how he won't "let" me do something, I feel the overwhelming need to show everyone that, if I can conceive, carry, and deliver a baby ... allowing him to participate in naming it is a courtesy I'm…

Speaking to the guy husband here: if 20 minutes is your idea of a good time, maybe there is a reason she doesn't want to sleep with you. I mean, that's not enough time to properly apply the strawberry scented KY, even if you know what you are doing.

I notice that one of the times she said "I'm too tender from last time."

She should add a column of what he said or did to try to get her in the mood.

I want to see her follow-up of the 6/10/2014, 6/27/2014, and 7/12/2014 events with the duration of intercourse and a column of whether or not she was able to orgasm.

"And it often leads to male pregnancy, which leads to male delivery. And the people giving birth to feces-covered babies.."

I really just need to start sending you my therapy bills, Mark.

I vary between a 3 and a 10 from hour to hour, outfit to outfit, and how windy it is.

Summer Jobs also teach you that there are people who do these shitty jobs full time, year round, so you better hit the books if you want do something else with your life.

I think a lot of the problem is that racism can be from hate, but it also can be from ignorance. There are a lot of people running around in the South who have a huge amount of misconceptions about race who do not have a hateful bone in their body but are filled with misinformation and ignorant bigotry.

I just posted the link on my mom's FB page. I would cry tears of joy and hilarity to see this employed in their house. We have three cats that live inside, one of whom is a neurotic, territorial and malicious black tuxie who hates everyone and is still recovering from the time she escaped into Outsideland and had to…

I'm very bummed that the first thing I thought was: "can I get one for me that will only give me 1200 calories a day?"

I have the perfect control group to test this thing out on.

Anyone else expect to read the names Piron or Sadtech in this article?

I don't know. Without that wide outer edge I think it will just be a very plain bookcase. That phat rim is the only thing that saves the Expedit from being overtly utilitarian, and acceptable as decor.