When we were kids, my sister and I baptized a litter of kittens.

Not surprising considering the history and real legacy of Mother Theresa. Just following in her footsteps of actually hurting people instead of really helping. Luckily there are loads of amazing and cool nuns, but Mother Theresa and her order were/are not these people.

If Ben Carson had been there, none of those people would have been harmed, because Ben would have directed the perp to the cashier.

When I was younger I used to think that cheating was a deal breaker and unforgiveable. It was a black and white issue. The older I get the greyer the issue becomes and more I see how complicated the roots infidelity can be. I am both more open minded to forgiving it and understanding when someone decides to forgive.…

I got my flu shot last week and now ears of corn are literally growing out of my ears. Can you ask this lady if I should be worried?

Well I suppose you can buy scientists, but that’s different from science as a process?

They’re so concerned about ending the autism “epidemic” that they’re creating actual epidemics out of preventable diseases. Fucking incredible.

Yes! Autistic children are people. They're not some terrible curse. It can be heartbreaking to come to terms with having an autistic child, I know - but that shouldn't deprive the child of his or her dignity and personhood.

Oh, come on. Don't those scientists know they have to change the results? That's what these people PAYED for. Not the truth.

You know, I wasn’t quite sure how to put my thoughts into words, but I think you nailed it.

What the fuck is wrong with white people and status issues? They straight up don’t care if people think they’re racist because they care more about appearing “proper” to the people with “status.” It’s so repulsively class-based and so... 1950s. How the fuck is it 2015 and we’re still having COLLEGE STUDENTS so wrapped…

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

The entomologists are coming out of the woodwork! :)

I’m glad I converted to Judaism. At my temple, we just have lots of pretty stained glass and artwork, and the Torah scrolls. And food, oh, the glorious food.

This is exactly how I’ve felt for years. I hope Obama is coming for your guns, all of them, you fucking monsters. Yes. #AllOfYou

I can’t imagine what the friends and family of all those wounded and killed are going through today. I can’t begin to comprehend what his mother is going through today. Thoughts and prayers for everyone effected by this.

The thing that drives me batshit crazy about this whole thing is that Apostolic Christians don’t believe that Catholics are real Christians! Why is she so excited to meet the head of the Catholic Church if she believes Catholics are going to hell?! (Answer: Because she’s an attention whore.)

SPACE MUSLIMS ARE GOING TO PRAY ON THE MOON AND THEN CONVERT ALL THE MOON WOMEN AND TEACH THEM TO HATE OUR MOON FREEDOM LETS PANIC.

I think, is the gist?

You’re never too old to be a bride.