When I get pregnant, I want to throw a gender reveal party just to reveal that all of the cupcakes say, “Who cares? Gender is a social construct!”

Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.

Dolphins are not the sweet and innocent animals people think they are - pods of male dolphins will separate a female from her pod and gang rape her while attacking her to prevent her from leaving. They will literally stick their dicks in anything to get off - including (but not limited to) the rotting carcasses of…

“Coast of Virginia? Alllriiight”

His wife’s probably on vacation over at the Peninsula of Penis.

You dry hump ONE kayak and suddenly you’re a bad guy ):

I’m an old who was glued to the Watergate hearings when I was a precocious pre-teen and I remember it well. What I’ve been hearing since 45 took the oath makes all that look like nothing, it is getting worse by the week and still we have most of the house and senate with their heads in the sand (or up their asses) and…

I burst out laughing when Todd made that realization.

How sad. Theoden Derangement Syndrome.

“Get me somebody.  ANYBODY!  And get me somebody while I’m waiting!”

The wig on the Obama head made me literally shudder.  

Perhaps there was something on her resume that made many of those NY firms disinclined from hiring her.

I can’t believe people have had sex with him! Shudder!

Here’s the dick pic she was flashing.

What do they talk about? You know, the usual — soup, snow peas, the outdoors. But, really, they can talk or not talk forever.

I’d like to see one about Jane Wiedlin working through an industry that wants to turn your strung out punk band into a squeaky clean pop band.

I’m pretty sure he also says “It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again”.

“Did I say make? I meant eat...” /starts laughing in deep demonic voice/

‘You and I would make beautiful babies together.’ - Stephen Miller

Pastor knows those things because he was all up in the newses, precious, and knew all those Scrabble words. Why do you think it was prohibited all those years to teach folks of color how to read ...?