The question isn't "Why was Jon Gosselin masturbating on television?" A much better question is "Why was Jon Gosselin on television?"

Seriously, do some men believe that a woman is never friendzoned by a man to whom she is seriously attracted? It happens all the time, and we feel just as bad about it. Most of us learned at a pretty early age that we couldn't force or shame an unwilling man into either loving us or wanting to have sex with us. Then,…

I can't fathom how or why the usual gang of fetus worshipers believes that it's easy to incubate a full-term pregnancy in the body of a dead woman. She was anoxic for Zarquon knows how long. And after brain death, the brain starts literally decomposing. Keeping a brain-dead woman on life support under those conditions…

Driving while simultaneously smashed, baked, and chopped-and-screwed is pretty serious business. This is going into some Lindsay Lohan territory pretty fast.

My family doctor figured it out because I had a history of generalized anxiety disorder plus repeated bouts of mild but stubborn depression. Apparently the trifecta of ADHD, anxiety, and depression is quite common in adults, and maybe more so in women than in men. He referred me to a psychiatrist, who gave me the…

I was diagnosed at 53. That is, if you count my formal diagnosis by a psychiatrist at the first. In reality, two school psychologists whom I met socially and independently of each other each figured it out within ten minutes of meeting me, and that was at least ten years earlier.

But you have to admit that "Love is Dead" by Kopek is an awesome song!

I had a rather strange one happen a few years ago, but it wasn't sexual in nature, and it happened to a number of people of both sexes in my social circle. It took place about 7 or 8 years ago, before Facebook and Twitter, when it was common for people to keep personal blogs rather than connecting over social media.…

I can kinda understand this. My father was quite ill with cancer while Mr. Sububi and I were planning my wedding. Happily, Dad responded well to treatment, was in reasonably good shape by the time of the wedding, and lived for nearly another decade. But there was a while when it could have gone either way at an…

For some reason, people who like to consume concoctions of prescription cough syrup, soda, and dissolved hard candy prefer to drink it out of styrofoam cups. I don't understand this — sounds like champagne-flute stuff to me.

Next time I buy a house, I think I'll look for one advertised as haunted. It'll keep the competition down and the bids low, and I've never believed in that stuff, not even as a preschooler.

The weird thing about norovirus is that it's not a classic foodborne illness. It can be spread by careless food handling, but it's not like the kind of food poisoning where bacteria grow in food and produce a toxin that makes you sick. Noroviruses are tiny particles that you can pick up from a surface and ingest, and…

We're getting into fruit smoothies since I got a new blender, and we quickly figured out that it's a great idea to transfer excess fresh fruit into the freezer for later blending. Bananas are especially convenient, since Mr. Sububi and I both dislike them when they get overly ripe. Once spots show up on the skin, I…

Hasn't it been determined that browning meat is a placebo at best?

I've had a lot of doctors simply by virtue of having moved a lot. Most have been great, but there were two real outliers. Outlier #1 was a physician at my university's health service. I had problems with intensely painful Mittelschmerz all through my menstruating years, and occasionally it would be really unbearable.…

I do. Their milk chocolate tastes like horribly sour spoiled milk to me, and I'm hardly a chocolate snob. They make a few other chocolate products that aren't bad, but those milk chocolate bars are quite nasty.

I've had Botox injected into my butt, and I assume that having it injected into one's face is much less unpleasant.

Why do I have the sinking feeling that not one of the planners of this event is female?

Just tasting her first ....

I don't enjoy being around crying children, but seriously: Complaining because a child is crying while you're eating in a luxury restaurant is a big fat privileged first world problem.