Naaaaahhhh. Websurfing, watching Community reruns, and playing Plants vs. Zombies.

We tried doing that. We wound up with a pile of lids and a pile of containers, none of which matched any of the others. We still don't know what kind of invisible mythical beast keeps eating the rest of the pieces. What makes this even more confusing: We have neither kids nor pets.

That's odd — I just figured this out in my kitchen about 3 hours before reading this post. Worked great.

Would it work with one whole egg instead of two yolks? Separating eggs and only using half of them gives me even worse OCD attacks than putting away my storage containers with the bowls separated from the lids.

I couldn't stand being browbeaten into kissing my standoffish old relatives. No sex abuse was involved, but damn, none of us enjoyed it.

Not surprised. I had to give up on their bread-filled salt sticks long ago — eating them actually hurt my mouth.

I had at least that many in my baby teeth by age 6; I was already unwilling to smile at that age because my teeth were so bad.

I had a lot of cavities as a kid, despite eating well and brushing my teeth regularly. Our water was low in fluoride and I wasn't given any fluoride supplements until age six, when it was too late. (And the supposedly "chewable" supplements tasted like sweetened chemical waste and were too big to swallow, so they were…

Why would a dentist do root canals on baby teeth? Gaaaaahhhhhh.

This obviously isn't a degree program. I don't know if it works the same way at Cambridge, but the selective U.S. university I somehow got into some years back has similar programs for business and industry professional development. The qualifications to get in are (a) paying or having your employer pay the extremely…

I was optimistic about this year, but not so sure now. The three wittiest tweets on the list came from Nick Jonas.

Quit taking photos of celebs at clubs! Just Photoshop celeb faces onto blurry generic phone images like everyone else!

No one breastfed in the 1950s, and I don't think they ever put caffeine into infant formula. So it's no surprise that I was already stealing Mom's coffee at age 4!

I dunno if my mom indulged in the occasional glass of her family's marvelous homemade wine while pregnant. If she did, it wouldn't have been much — she's never been a big alcohol drinker. But I wouldn't be surprised if her coffee consumption was on the order of a gallon a week. I mean, both of my parents were heroic…

Or just use Drosophila melanogaster. Not only can they tolerate alcohol, but the populations from high latitudes can handle more of it.

I hate "Auld Lang Syne" with a passion approaching my feelings about "Butterfly Kisses". So when I'm surrounded by people bellowing it into one or both of my ears, I just sing the chorus of Wall of Voodoo's "Mexican Radio" to myself.

I remember telling a friend, some decades back, that I didn't like to take photos during special occasions because then I'd forget all the good parts. Vindicated at last!

Not that I'd wear them or anything, but I find the Croc heels hugely amusing. Someone needs to take the piss out of the shoe biz's self-important and grossly inflated sense of style.

That actually sounds kind of interesting. Chutney pie?

True story: I chugged a double espresso about 45 minutes before my dissertation defense seminar. You bet I enjoyed giving that talk. One of the best days of my life so far.