Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

I remember the nurse gently wiping my ass for me while I screamed at my husband, "LOOK AWAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LOOK AWAY".

I was once a DJ. On my way to working an event in Westchester, I got really sick while driving. I have a really bad stomach and of course I was drinking a huge coffee and smoking, which made things worse. My assistant was sitting in the passenger side, watching me turn white, sweating and almost crying. If I could…

This is an app-based service like Lyft or Uber. You have to use the app to order a SheRides cab. There is no scenario in which you'd hail a cab or call for one and it turned out to be a SheRides cab that you weren't allowed to ride. Does that make your boo-boo all better, you poor thing?

I used to write a column for Portland's alternative weekly about my adventures driving a cab at night. I thought some of you might enjoy the first one:

I really wish Cyrus would keep her frickin' tongue in her mouth.

I DON'T HAVE A TV!

My friends and I were about to fly from Vietnam to Thailand to stay at another friend's Bangkok flat while she was visiting her parents. We got her a nice present for letting us crash, but then we also found THE MOST HELLISH PRESENT IN THE WORLD. It was a ball of multicoloured fake fur around the size of a basketball,…

I'm all for bringing back the greys, with one condition:

My older, adult sister, and I were driving through Texas. My sister had fallen asleep for a while. I had stopped at a Dairy Queen for dinner and she woke up as I pulled in. I went to the bathroom while she waited in line. I got back and walked up to her at the counter, just as this exchange happened.

There's a point to Kinja? Because it's failing miserably. Comments around here were 200x better a couple years ago. Old articles popping up make it all too obvious.

I love America for a lot of reasons but not having to eat bugs is near the fucking top of the list.

Ah, MPreg. I'll never stop laughing that that's a thing. And while I'm here, I had to look at this, so now you do, too. I present: Pregnant Angel Snape in a speedo:

Do you seriously think saying Speedos are tacky is the same thing as demanding somewhere wear a burqa?

To protest the threat of being kicked out, people were reportedly singing "Do You Hear the People Sing" from Les Miserables and holding up the three-fingered salute from The Hunger Games.

Minimalist

Sorry, where was the admiration in that post? Or the victim-blaming you seem to have found in those three sentences?

That's a good point. While the behavior is deplorable I was thinking about the emotional damage it might do to the 5-year-old bully to be taken out of the school, especially if he is having a troubled home life. I am not saying the father is wrong, I just feel a little for the bully too.

This doesn't have anything to do with the age of consent (which is already 17 in most states, including Texas, and 16 in some others). This has to do with teachers breaking the law and abusing positions of power.

I have a job that many would call a "dream job" and you know what? I love the hell out of it but it is definitely WORK and that is a ok with me. I feel very privileged to have work that I enjoy doing (most of the time anyways) that also pays my bills.