Your life is not everyone’s life. This is not a universal solution.

Most embarrassing time I burst into tears: that one time I had a breakdown at the top of the leaning tower of Pisa, and instead of being helpful my family decided to laugh take pictures of me with the highly uncomfortable tour guide.

I have to admit that as a very well-educated woman in her 30s, there’s an appeal to a dating marketplace where that isn’t considered a liability.

nick lachey!!!

Fuck. That. Bitch. I am entirely without religious or spiritual belief, but I have this rage that boils up in me when people desecrate remains. Maybe it’s the historian in me, but the dead can’t defend themselves and in many cases, their bodies are the only evidence of their lives and to harm that lifeless pile of…

Mentioning the 9/11 gift shop always makes me think of this.

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

Not real school per se, but it’s the closest story I have:

(does anyone else remember this storm?).

Is it weird that your story made me feel a twinge of excitement for winter 2015? Hell yeah, Indiana!

“Fart-ridden car” gave me a serious case of the giggles!

#firstworldproblems

As a native Kentuckian (who once even spent a year working with George Clooney’s sister), let me politely invite you to go fuck yourself.

Uh, so sitting makes your nuts hurt, stand up bro. My tits are gargantuan but I dont get to just slap people with my elbows because they get mashed up. Jesus.

Hot take : Write your goddamn memoir, get your bloody advance. If you’re sick of other people’s memoirs, don’t read them! Pick out something you like and read that instead, instead of complaining about how people shouldn’t write memoirs. If somebody paid me to write a memoir, I’d go for it, even knowing that it’s…

Pro tip- if your takeaway from this awful story is to make it all about your own personal hurt dudefeels...you might not actually be as “nice” as you think you are.

You will wrest my milk from my dead Scandinavian body. Also, it’s like one of three drinks I can even drink anymore cause of allergies. I think I will go have a glass of milk right now. Milk.

frankly i’m amazed that i can even hold down a job nowadays after have two oreos after lunch during my childhood

“Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am!? Do you have a minute to discuss ethics in gaming journalism?” MA’AM?!?”

That last one is beautiful.