reads like Bret Easton Ellis freebased Pixie Stix until he forgot how to speak English and then re-taught himself using 5 second clips from MTV's Tool Academy.

There has been a serious increase in merkins on HBO of late. What would the male equivalent be? Dickens?

Tobias Fünke: They probably don't make it in a woman's.
Narrator: They only make it in a woman's.

I think you need to niche market. Car guys prefer airbrushed flames, and the scent of burning tires.

Honest-to-god conversation with my husband in Ulta:

From Hard Candy, the linked website above:

Can some of you dumbshits sit back and realize Hooters is only doing this because it's a cheap way to temporarily 'up' their pro-woman PR, because that's how you try to put a bandaid on the gangrene of misogyny that is Hooters?

We believe that women should be treated with respect.

This is so adorable I just died. I'm a ghost now.

Hahaha, I read the whole article going, "What in the holy fuck is it for, though?!?" then got to the shaving mention and, "Ooooohhhhhhhh!"

Jessica Coen cannot, in fact, name him, because as everyone knows if you say Hugo Schwyzer three times he shows up in your house and insists that the real gender problem in the world today is women not being nice enough.

Grab your ovaries and come out with a real statement, or, hell, a retraction if necessary. This - this is bargaining. And it is pathetic. Jessica, I respect that your job is difficult. You're representing feminism to a broad audience. Do us all a favor: stand up straight and speak clearly. I have tremendous faith in…

Even Jesus is giving this kid the eye-roll.

In the picture, he looks like Evil Mark Ruffalo.

Any cuddling is great, so long as it's not when I'm trying to sleep.