I haven't seen those ISIS cunts cutting people's heads off. But know what? I think it's pretty fucked up shit, anyway. That's how I roll. I figure shit out.

"Failure is not getting knocked down. It's not getting up."

These fucking idiots are ALL awful. Fuck Peter King, fuck the NFL, fuck Roger Gooddell, fuck the Ravens, fuck Rice's lawyer, fuck Steve Smith, fuck Schefter, fuck Harbaugh, fuck everyone who defended Ray Rice and/or tried to pin some of the blame on Janay, and most of all, fuck Ray Motherfucking Rice.

Baltimore: [cuts Rice]

Still waiting for the NFL Releases Roger Goodell story . . .

That loud sound you hear isn't the sound of applause for this move , it's the sound of the Ravens' collective hamstrings snapping from all that backpedaling.

"Better after there is completely damning evidence released that will destroy our brand than never."

You know the situation is seriously fucked up when it's getting me to like Adam Schefter

Ravens PR guy: "I liked Ray Rice a lot then. I like Ray Rice a lot today"

Well, so much for "But we didn't see what really happened in that elevator."....

"Sterling got $2 Billion!? I, uh, just *found* a racist Mad Lib I did in 2007!"

Whoa. He's eating at Cheesecake Factory? $13 million won't be nearly enough.

He went to today's game at Dodger Stadium with just enough clothing to keep him clear of the law, cracked open two Dos Equis tall boys, munched on a hot dog, and soaked up some rays.

My local diner has a standing special for PBR. You get a chilled pint glass. The chilled pint glass is full of ice cold PBR. The chilled pint glass full of ice-cold PBR costs exactly one (1) U.S. dollar.

That's how it's done, sir. How many can you stuff in them tight jeans that even the fellas are wearin in certain neighborhoods these days?

I like to wear cargo shorts and pack a PBR in every pocket.

Agreed. Who's worse to stand behind when the bar is 3 people deep? The guy who just wants a cheap can or the beer snob talking about hops and mispronouncing Lagunitas.

#notallharbaughs

Pfft. Julian Edelman gives you the same performance for only, like, half the number of amphetamines....

Smart move by K.C. Smith will have no problem managing this money.