Kobe went on to say, "I would go to jail before I would go to bed without satisfying my urges. Doing that would mean that I would beat myself, that I accepted 'No' for an answer, because if you keep trying you'll either get a 'Yes' or you'll get to the right true end anyway."

The Bucs and Incognito make sense. Since Schiano left they've had a big void at Left Asshole.

Well, bully for him.

Really? I always figure it's some McCown. Formerly "some Detmer".

Rex Grossman would love the chance to suck for the Rams.

Not to be a Negative Nelly but last time Kobe was the lone star on a team from 2004-2007 he never got past round 1 and in one of those seasons missed the playoffs entirely (2004-05) and that was when he was in his playing prime.

Embarrassed, the kid hurried back to his seat in order to keep the pop secret.

I guess you could say he was... Cracker Jacked.

Cleveland receivers made the same gesture, but only because Johnny Manziel kept throwing the ball way the fuck over their heads.

The tear gas element of the tribute, however, seems a bit too on-the-nose for me.

Seriously, this dude is like the midget Ryan Leaf. I shudder to think what he'll be doing for OxyContin in 2018.

I can't wait for the moral outrage in the media tomorrow from men who tried to justify domestic violence.

Flippin' birds, throwin' ducks.

That's the best throw he's had all night.

The Times story says Roberts is unmarried and has no children. After Billy Hunter put half his family on the union's payroll, it's no wonder the players hired her.

As a Georgia fan, this is really cool, but I hope there hasn't been any impermissible amount of 7-layer dip or pimento cheese spread at any of the monthly meetings.

"Don't draft this guy."

Reminds me of the Mitch Hedburg joke.

Too bad Blowsby's answer wasn't even in the same zip code as the question, and was just a recitation of talking points. Typed up by his secretary, I'm sure.

Hoover might be nuts, but he still wouldn't have signed Tony Romo to an extension.