In that sense, David Letterman is the George Bush of comedy, a man whose glory depends on succession

Be sure you rinse that pan well when you clean it. Barkeeper's Friend uses oxalic acid, which you do not want to get in your food.

Be sure you rinse that pan well when you clean it. Barkeeper's Friend uses oxalic acid, which you do not want to…

I have a 'don't give a damn' attitude on how I'm served macadamia nuts. Just shovel them into my open maw, yes, that's fine.

Claws alone do not make a fighter.

You do know what while you're throwing hands, the kangaroo will be throwing feet?

Hippos kill a ton of people, but they mostly do it in the water. I think this list is ranked for animals on land. (With that in mind, I'd put gorilla over the hippo any day.) If we were fighting 'land' animals in shallow water, several of them should shift position — hippo, polar bear, and croc should then be the…

My earwax drops out naturally — in long, orange blocks that look like a dead caterpillar, and at the worst of times. I'd rather not have waxworms fall out onto my white shirt during a business meeting. Thus, I clean my ears. Usually just exposing them to warm water from my shower does it, but I have resorted to…

Best character creation system of all time? It looks prettier than City of Heroes, but I doubt it can approach the myriad options that the COH creator gave the player.

I need someone to explain Gamergate like I'm 5 years old. I'm a gamer, but not active in game communities, so I don't understand what's going on. As far as I can tell we have these groups:

My father used to beat me. Mostly with his fists, and always in the torso or shoulder. He used to boast about never hitting me in the face so as to never leave marks. I think that was his idea of good parenting — never permanently scarring his kid. He only knocked me unconscious once.

A quick Google search for 'MRAP with a plow' shows me that the zombie survivalists are way ahead of you:

Really? Commenting on a thread that's two years old?

Nope, for most fans it's not sexual at all.

If you want to know what the major activities are at a Brony convention — or any nerdy fan convention — this is by far the best introduction ever.

Oh, boy. The NHTSA people are going to hear from the Lyme Disease foundation. Too much fucking in the woods and you'll be crawling with ticks that want to get a contact high from your blood.

My sainted Italian grandmother made her pasta with marinara, so as far as I'm concerned that's the one and only correct sauce, ever. I'll allow pesto as a 'snob' option. But alfredo? Fuggedaboutit.

The Joker appeared because the Batman appeared. Once one psychopath pops up, more will be created in response. It's a natural mechanism — insanity breeds insanity.

What you're saying is that nobody will be able to read the gray comments, because that's where the rape GIFs will be hidden.

I was twelve. Don't know why my mom said nothing, other than sibling loyalty.

My uncle did this.