If that photo is proof of a dating relationship I have dated approximately 7500 people.

Why do those gifs look like they're from a horror movie in which Zac Efron likes to eat babies?

Three whole months without masturbating?!?!? Jeez, I'll be lucky if I make it through writing this com

i had a fur coat as a child. i looked fresh to death in it.

Old Ruth Bader Ginsburg can still get it as far as I'm concerned

What if it tastes better with the pee?

It's a 7-11. Just eat them in the back aisle and put the empty bag back. Wash it down with a bottle of Mountain Dew and put the empty back. Walk out while looking the cashier directly in the eyes the whole time.

The last time I went into a 7-11, it was because I was desperate for iced coffee. I got a big one. It tasted like diabetes.

I lied to the clerk and said they were for my pregnant girlfriend. My boyfriend then got out of the car and came in to get water saying, "Hey babe, what are you getting?"

711 is literally the one place where I may surpass shame. I have never felt embarrassed in one and I don't intend to. I'll buy my condoms, 2-lb blocks of Rice Krispy treats, drunkenly-desired Cheetos, and Dorito snacks with pride.

circumcision is when a dick is filed down into a point, yes.

Unfortunately the people she's referring to are Charles and Marian Gay of Little Rock.

2/10 would not fap.

I must've gotten high and slept in the fryer...

Everything is weird and I'm frightened.

Lol. You can buy Carrie's hair, just like she bought hers!

I've lived in a college town too long, I guess, because what amazed me about the Foster's story is that free beer survived long enough to become ten years old.

Seriously. A clot fell out of me in my late 20's while I was holding a ladder for a friend and it was so BIG I *actually* thought I gave birth to.....something.