Damn, I had almost successfully forgotten about Shailene Woodley.

no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO.

Anyone who has ever found a wayward french fry under a seat while cleaning out their car knows that McDonald's food does not rot. We're onto you, McDonald's!

Thinking about Evan Rachel Wood and Katherine Moennig dating is giving me serious vapors over here.

Nobody cares about your (tiny) stupid boner.

I just realized (and checked Google to make sure) that there are no Jimmy John's in the Bay Area. To be honest, I've kind of forgotten about JJ's now that I can go pretty much anywhere and get a banh mi for like $4. Yum.

Wait, do you live in the small Missouri town I just left???

The heart on her costume looks like an upside down triangle. #illuminati

I think my vagina just shrank anyway from reading this.

No offense, but you should have taken an actual photographer with you so you could capture the true beauty, I mean, horrors of these food items.

I like where you're going with this!

I mean, my capacity to stand in one place and read shit on my smartphone is unlimited. :p

I'm currently unemployed in a major city, and this sounds pretty reasonable to me as a potential job. BRB, writing a Craigslist ad for my services.

Have you seen the actual episode of Archer that is a Bob's Burgers parody/crossover? I saw it the other day, and I kept wigging out.

Are we not going to talk about the black pudding, which is otherwise known as blood sausage?

I, for one, look forward to many South Park-style shenanigans.

I saw this vid on tumblr last night, and someone said I hope that guy likes 6 poops in his shoes.

Hey, I have it on good authority the drive from Kansas City to Columbia is much, much worse than St.Louis to Columbia.

Aw yiss, Black Panther. You don't know how desperate I am for a MCU movie about him.