We get wine samples a lot in my grocery stores. They’re awesome, especially if you’ve been shopping on an empty stomach. They only come in tiny 1oz servings, but you can usually try more than one. If you’re a lightweight, you can get a little buzz going on for the rest of your trip.

I used to live in Mexico. The local Costco (I know, I know) used to include 1/2 cigars and tequila shots on sample Saturdays. Made shopping much more enjoyable.

A new supermarket opened and gave away whole watermelons.

I challenge you to come up with a better “free sample” experience than that.

I had to quit a job at the Starbucks cafe inside a Barnes and Noble in Deptford NJ. There was a repeat customer who was a psych prof at Rowan U( I think Rowan ) She was such a heinous bitch that I had fantasies about slamming her face into the counter. God never had I met such a miserable person.

*sad trombone*

My Dad lives in Vegas. The last time I visited, we all went to the slots:
-My aunt won $20,000
-My dad went to the buffet
-I put $5 in a slot machine, and the machine broke.

Look at you playing the long odds.

Pinkham’s Law bet: Somebody will try to justify stealing the tips with a big screed about how they don’t believe in tipping, because in Europe servers re paid more.

It might not be grey for long! And good job raising him, mom!

We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

Regarding the screaming woman in the pizza place: I did have an occasion once where my then 2.5 year old daughter asked me why some woman was yelling at an employee at my local grocery store. It gave me great pleasure to explain, very loudly, that the yelling woman was mean and nasty and probably very unhappy with her…

You were saying something about being overly sensitive?

THAT WEDDING IS SO CUTE.

I was working at a relatively new restaurant in Portland, Oregon. We specialized in sandwiches made with fancy, local, organic ingredients.

Maybe it’s just because I work in the wedding industry (videographer) but the first story made me so happy, I’ve bookmarked this. Way to be an awesome restaurant there, guys.

Worth noting: I have a 150 pages of google docs with backlogged stories, and I try to pull from older ones before newer ones. It’s entirely possible I have at least one of your stories waiting to be used.

hehe no worries, I didn’t expect you to want to actually make that happen. like I said, out-of-work data nerd. I just got too excited.

While I genuinely appreciate your attempt to help, my utter lack of technical know-how ensured that halfway through that paragraph, my eyes glazed over and I started speaking in tongues.