In defense of the skirt steak sandwich lady

Maybe when someone has been locked in a basement their whole lives, you shouldn’t be taking Kimmy Schmidt to the sandwich shop first thing.

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

BANNED.

BLOCKED.

Dismissed, blocked, and flagged for hate speech.

THIS IS A FUCKING PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME AND EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN

Getting a tattoo when you’re not like, part of the subculture of tattoos, can be a weird, kind of frustrating experience (I say this as someone who has a number of non-visible tattoos, but who is a very white-collar, corporate button-up type). There’s definitely a push and pull between the client and artist (it’s…

SPF30 is some melanin haver shit. Us true day walkers require SPF50+

I’ve heard “kway-suh-dill-uhs” unironically before, but this is a new one to me.

This story would’ve made the cut if it had been e-mailed to me.

That white zinfandel story reminds me of something that happened at the first bar I ever worked.

These two dude bros straight up swagger up to the bar (which was fairly busy). Popped collar hamptonites with less money than they want you to assume they have. The one guy leans in over the bar and shouts “Lemme get a ZIN…

I was down in disneyworld ages ago on a family vacation in one of the quick service cafeteria style places in the hotel. some girl kept yelling to her family that was across the room all excited that they had quesadillas... pronounced kes-ska-dill-lias.

I keep meaning to send you one that involves an idiot and kale, but I always get distracted by the comments here ;)

This would’ve made an excellent submission.

Free popcorn in a tray is our early front runner for best bco submission of 2015.

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…