Dammit, Echo. +1

Dummy. +1

I mean you are one son of a bitch.

May your roast turkey speak with the voice of Satan from its ragged neck-hole.

How much of whatever I find lying in my back yard should I stuff into this quote-unquote turkey before quote-unquote cooking it? Also, does putting a thing in the refrigerator count as cooking it?

Hell, hell, hell no.

ANY TIME YOU THINK YOUR GAS CAN IS MAN ENOUGH BUDDY BOY

Rocket Frog? Please. PUH-LEASE.

It's adorable that you think 10 short paragraphs is "longform".

Did someone say fish sainguich?

This is terrific. +1

This is really great, cheese-mac. +1

Ah, but is it an opinion? Or is it satire?

[dying]

I was really waiting for someone to miss the joke. Thanks!

I honestly have no idea what this means.

Bingo!

Really? Really? A bunch of NFL players sitting around sharing their feelings? Why stop there? Why not have them teach each other to knit while they're at it? Just put on skirts and blouses and sit around in a big circle knitting sweaters and baking cupcakes and watching soap operas. Yeah, just send 'em on over to my…

In other words, call a hypocrite a hypocrite for being a hypocrite. Don't call a hypocrite a "giant pussy" for not being a violent psychopath.

I agree the guy is probably a hypocrite. In the real world, hardly anybody settles disputes and resolves conflict with violence, and the idiot radio host is probably just as unlikely to pick a fight as anyone. But that doesn't make him a "giant pussy", nor does it reveal anything about his masculinity.