No wonder he's been a lifelong fan of the LA Galaxy.

I imagine that won't help him stay sober on the Corpus Christi Bay

Well, I sit in anticipation for the day - hell, the moment - that your apathy towards soccer metastasises into an all-encompassing melancholy and drives you to kill yourself (prioritising swiftness over comfort).

...and Deadspin smashes the record for page views by Catholic priests.

Only ten matches? For what he did?

What a toothless response.

I don't think clubs have an incentive to intentionally yo-yo because it's simply so difficult to get back to the Prem if you get relegated, and the parachute payments still don't come anywhere close to the TV money you get if you remain in the Premiership. Case in point, out of last year's relegated teams Blackburn…

And it's driving the Scousers insane. Somehow they think it more classless than Luis Suarez's chomping Branislav Ivanovic's very real arm yesterday.

can we all stop and appreciate "@chinksmcgee" for a minute?

Which is why they force all NFL rookies to read Deadspin for a year, amirite?

I would like to extend Tavon Austin my congratulations on breaking the West Virginia record for highest Wonderlic score!

its correctly spelled 'Murica fuck yeah

As far as beauty of scoring points/goals/etc... no sport is more beautiful than soccer. Hockey comes in a close second.

Still not as bad as this own goal in Sunday's AZ-Utrecht game in the Netherlands:

traveled to Newcastle and trounced the home side, 3-0, in front of Toon supporters

Meh, Di Canio only celebrated as wildly as he did because the ball flew into the right-hand side of the net.

Now Arsenal fans can go back to directing anti-Semitic chants at Spurs!

He swings from the trees, he scores when he please, Gareth Bale, king of the monkeys.

If only the fan had thrown a pack of Reese's at Bale, he might have gotten off scot-free.